January 5, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

1) Stop saying Oh shit, I'm sorry! or variations thereupon. Remember that everyone is there to learn. Constant apologies for utter incompetence, smacks to the face, accidental junk grabs and so on are unnecessary. As Trek so eloquently put it, "If you kick me in the eye or smash the groin, unintentionally - or especially intentionally - you should be sorry. Definitely be sorry if it's intentional. Otherwise, don't be." Apparently, I'm too nice. This is news to me. I'm usually an insensitive, mildly sociopathic asshole. Must work on finding a happy balance.

2) Stop belittling my own progression. When I do something right or pick up a move fast, stop assuming that I just got lucky, that it was especially easy, or that my partner let me do it. Sometimes that's the case, but lately I've been doing fairly well all on my own.

3) Remember that some moves will work great and some will not, depending on technique, partner, mood and other factors. It's not a life-destroying setback if I get one move or variation down but am not immediately successful with another.

4) Stop destroying partners during drills. Just because they're big doesn't mean they don't need time to learn the move too. Goal: go a full session without Christian saying "Go easy, you're just practicing here! Control the blood lust!"

5) Learn how to block properly so that people stop punching me in the face.

6) Successfully make it through one set of pyramid kicks.

7) Successfully make it through one set of pyramid kicks without looking like an idiot.


As you can see, it's a brand new year...3 months in and I'm still having a blast. Admittedly, I lost my groove a bit after the last update what with the binge eating and laziness that goes along with the holiday season. Only hit the gym once over the following week and a half, and the one day I went in, I just wasn't feeling it. Headache, lack of motivation, the list goes on. Thankfully, I got my couch potato ass moving again this week and finally seem to be back on track.

Class started late on Monday. When I walked in, it looked like open mat: post-holiday warzone style...everyone was trying to burn off their sins from the previous week. Yanitza had shown up for her first Monday, so I rolled with her a while. Note for future: her thighs of death are not to be trifled with. For a smaller person, she can seriously crack some ribs. I must learn her tricks. Actually, most of the small people around here have killer thighs, like Brickling and Frodo. I guess being shorter and lighter means they've found ways to compensate. I'm trying to study and learn from them all.

Skipped kickboxing on Tuesday but Fundamentals was good. Worked with KGB on maintaining mount, applying submissions and transitioning to triangle arm chokes and back control. I did decently, even though my legs weren't long enough to sprawl effectively at times. Drilled the moves later with Wardog, who kicked my ass a bit - an unfortunate change from our last time together when I did so well and he was the one struggling. Of course, we were both tired by then and he was completely throwing his weight around. He even admitted that he was using pure strength and virtually no skill at that point. He called it the "fat man technique." Not that he's actually fat, but he was feeling like a bit of a doughboy after the break as well. I can relate.

I had a bit of a panic attack when I got home later and realized that my left ear was warm, hurting and visibly swollen, but after seeing a doctor, I was told that it was bruised, hardly cauliflower ear, and to just take some advil and chill out. Did I mention that I suffer from mild hypochondria? In my defense though, I spent all evening getting the fuck squeezed out of my head by two very strong guys, so better safe than sorry.

Throbbing ears aside, tonight was incredibly fun as well. I finally hauled ass in for kickboxing and Rascal's torture circle of abs exercises was refreshing after nearly two weeks off. Although I felt really stupid, as usual, I did slightly better with blocking today. Very slightly. Started out drilling basic combinations with Diesel, then moved into sparring...extremely light sparring, in my case, lest I got bashed in the head because I kept catching opponents' hands like a cat instead of swatting and blocking properly. Oh well. Sparred with Diesel first, then Spaceman, who went harder and challenged me a bit. God, did I feel like a moron throwing up the wrong hands at all the wrong times. I quickly gave up on even trying to block the kicks and just focused on the blows coming at my head. Sparred with The Kid next, who was nice but who didn't seem to want to throw any kicks, and then wrapped it up with Big Boy, who made me dizzy circling around so much but did help me get into a groove with blocking punches. Ended the class with a series of pyramid kicks, also with Big Boy, at which I predictably failed miserably. Rascal makes it look annoyingly easy but kicking that fast, that many times...holy shit. I vow right now to be more consistent with those classes because I hate feeling so lost.

Fundamentals went much better, of course. We continued our theme from Tuesday and I paired up with Wardog to do more mount transitions and submissions. I love the guy but he can be a bit of a spazz to roll with because he really works the pure strength angle. He also decided not to wear a cup tonight...he finally informed me of this right when I had my head trapped near his crotch while doing armbars, because he didn't want to get elbowed in the balls. Thanks, buddy.

Near the end of class, we switched it up and I drilled with Killer for a while. Got his back at one point just as Christian was passing, and was told that I'd have gotten points for it in a competition. Killer, of course, decided that vengeance was absolutely necessary and threw out some surprise moves the following round to get my back. He muscled his way into a rear naked choke and said "so...we've established that this means points, right?" Smug bastard. We had fun with that though.

All in all, it's good to be back to my routine of healthy eating and regular exercise. I felt so out of sorts without my gym time over the holiday break...let's not do that again.


  1. Your resolutions are a lil different from mine but just as admirable! What is a pyramid kick?

  2. It all sounds so exciting, Reese! Happy new year to you and keep writing these! They're very entertaining :)