One of the Guys vs. The Girl

In a ramble inspired by Shark Girl's hilarious entry from a while back, as well as a ridiculous number of childish blog posts and forum threads either about how girls shouldn't grapple because it's "not natural" or about how it makes some guys so very uncomfortable to roll with females (ZOMG cooties!! Girl parts!! Wherever shall I put my hands??), I'd like to take a moment to address the matter of having two X chromosomes in a "guy's sport." I actually wrote most of this about 4 months after I started training and never published it, but with the influx of new female athletes at Ronin lately, I figure the subject has become quite relevant.

No, I've never been super feminine in the traditional sense...I'm definitely a tomboy. I like my sweatpants, t-shirts and beat-up sneakers. I loathe makeup and dresses and diamond earrings. I also refuse to tolerate brainless chicks who act totally incompetent, relying on men for everything like helpless ditzes who can't lift their own Prada bags. That said, I do absolutely love fluffy animals, bright colors and big strong boyfriends. I'm willing to jump guys twice my size if they're bothering a friend and can handle getting my ass kicked as a result, but I can also be fun and silly and totally adorable (really, I know it's hard to believe). So where does that leave me when it comes to something like grappling?

The fact is, wrestling is and always has been very much a boy's game. It's kind of the whole alpha male fight for dominance thing...a concept that doesn't seem to appeal to many ladies, comparatively - and I guess somewhat understandably. A lot of women are more claustrophobic, less aggressive, less prone to enjoying combat sports and just generally uncomfortable with the close contact thing, particularly when it comes to training with the opposite sex. I just wish I got paid every time a female friend said something along the lines of "You do WHAT with WHO? I could NEVER do that..."

But here I am, a rainbow-loving tomboy who's perfectly happy around groups of boys, training almost daily with a big gang of athletes, and from the beginning, one of my biggest questions was how do I want to be seen? No qualms about being in a male-dominated environment, or about being stuck between some dude's legs as he tries to choke me out. That wasn't even a remote concern. My one and only fear going into MMA was...what if I look stupid? Because let's face it, wrestling and decking people in the face isn't all that feminine, and sometimes enthusiasm can only take you so far when almost everyone you're training with outweighs you by 30 - 80 lbs (not to mention, their muscle-to-fat ratio is, in general, significantly higher than your own).

Looking back, I went into my first class a year and a half ago ago wanting to be thought of as anything but a girl. Just another one of the new guys, nothing to see here, move right along. I wore a pair of my brother's shorts (he's two years younger but almost 6'0 so you can imagine how those fit) and the biggest, rattiest t-shirt I could find (which, in hindsight, was not entirely ideal for grappling). For the second class, once I'd gotten a feel for the place, I felt a bit better about wearing a normal t-shirt...you know, one that was actually fitted for girls as opposed to overweight men. But I was still wary of giving off too much of a girly vibe because if I did, would people start thinking that that they had to go easy or give me special treatment? How much girl is too much for an MMA gym? As I wrote in my very first entry, I was completely paranoid about being laughed out of the building when I first walked in, so a lot of my focus in the beginning was on trying to avoid such attention and just blend into the crowd.

Over the following weeks, I became more and more comfortable with the people that I was training with. I stopped caring if my shirts were shorter or more fitted than what the guys wore or if the colors stood out more. I stopped worrying about tops riding up or shorts or gi pants coming off...I mean, that's what underarmour capris and sports bras are for, right? And at this point, I'm happy enough to alternate between the darker colors and things that are distinctly girly. For example, I have four pairs of MMA shorts, one of which is a glaringly bright pink and white camo design...which I sometimes wear with an electric blue heat tech t-shirt (please forgive the fact that I have no sense of fashion or color coordination...I said that I'm a girl, not that I'm a very good one). And while I'm damn sure aggressive on the mats, I can also relax and be less so in between classes and drilling instead of continuously acting like some sort of butch manbeater.

Unlike most of my female friends, I'm average height, am not built like a stick, and I don't want or need to be exactly like other women. Then again, I clearly am one. In something like grappling, that often feels like a contradiction. It seems like many women in the sport struggle to figure out how much of a guy they need to be in order to fit in or to be taken seriously, and as a result, many women are too uncomfortable to continue or to even try training at all. Of course, immature discussions on the interwebs abound.

Guys at other gyms worldwide seem to bitch and moan about the trials and tribulations of rolling with the other sex. It's just wrong, women don't belong on the mats, there must be something wrong with them. I would feel like I'm cheating on my wife. My religion doesn't allow it. Working with chicks does nothing to improve my game. Luckily, this has never been a major issue at Ronin, but it's disappointing to read such things or hear it from female athletes elsewhere. The ironic thing is that such crap is said even in cases where the women are taller and/or stronger than many of the men. So for someone like me to show up and act like...well, a girl (at least when appropriate) is something that I would never have thought possible when I first started.

Ultimately, how I'm seen as a training partner is the most important thing to me, no contest. But whereas in the beginning, I'd never have worn bright colors or acted silly or allowed a single shred of girlness to breach the surface, I've now reached a kind of compromise. I even have two pairs of custom tie-dye gi pants that bring epic joy to my jiu jitsu life, even if they make Christian want to gouge out his eyes (in my opinion, if Liz can wear bright orange and yellow gis, I can damn sure sport tie-dye Fenom pants). I'm comfortable joking around and being more like my quasi-girl self rather than acting like a total dude. Because I know the people I train with now, and they know that when I'm on the mats, I'm there to work hard and to learn the same as anyone else, regardless of my ridiculous MMA fashion choices. In some ways, I feel like the more I train, the more I have to prove that I'm still a girl...a complex which manifests itself in the unacceptable amount of pink I've been wearing this past year. Hell, if I can find a tie-dye rashguard and/or MMA shorts, you can bet your ass I'll be sparring in those next!

Gym Junkies

Well...I turned 29 earlier this week and have officially been training MMA for almost a year and a half. I think it's a good sign that I still love it (and my gym and teammates) as much as ever. And although in many ways it feels like business as usual, it's strange to realize how much has changed.

For example, I am no longer "the newbie." It's hard to accept, because there are so many people with so much more experience, yet it turns out there are in fact others who have far less experience than I do, and it's my turn to help them and to put up with all of the newbie mistakes that I used to make. It's also my responsibility to recognize the mistakes that I'm making now and to actively strive to improve myself in those areas, because the whole "I just started, so I have no idea what I'm doing" excuse just doesn't fly anymore.

I've also found that my view of training has changed a lot. I've had enough time to develop my own personal perspective now. In the beginning, I was obsessed with not missing anything, because god forbid I skip a single class and fall behind FOREVER! What if someone who started one week after me got promoted first? The horror! Luckily, I grew out of that stupid mindset and have taken a much more zen approach. I learn faster than some teammates, and some learn faster than me. The only thing that matters is that I continue to move forward and that I enjoy the journey.

Ironically, once I adopted that attitude, I started to progress a lot faster. My kickboxing isn't perfect, but I'm keeping up with the classes and handling most of the moves well. I probably have Rocky to thank for my sudden improvement in blocking, since my skills in that area considerably improved after a 20 minute one-on-one a few months back, in which he threw such hard blows to the head in such rapid succession that screwing up was not an option.

For jiu jitsu, I'm almost exclusively doing gi now, which has allowed me to focus so much more on technique. I wasn't even aware of it until recently, but that smooth flow that I observed and envied in others when I started is now something that I'm developing. Not always, of course (especially when I'm tired); I still get crushed by plenty of people, but I also get sweeps and submissions. I can hold a strong mount, tend to play a lot of De La Riva, and hop over someone to escape an omoplata. Somewhere along the way, "rolling" stopped meaning "try not to get tapped out" and started to mean "trap the arm and roll into halfguard; smear across the chest and go for s-mount; swing into an armbar from a failed bow and arrow" and so much more. I mean, I loved rolling even when I was doing little more than trying to delay submissions, so you can imagine how enjoyable it is now.

Of course, there are other people who are still in that "gym junkie" phase where they feel the need to prove themselves and to progress or elevate themselves as quickly as possible. For instance, the guy who just started but feels entitled to tell you the best way to do certain moves (even though he's telling you to do it wrong). This sort of guy is normally quite nice and because he means well, you have to fight the urge to tell him to shut it. I've found that my favorite way of dealing with this is to politely smile and say "thanks, I got it," and then use those same moves to kick that person's ass when rolling.

In some cases, this type of person will actually try to cover the fact that they're getting their ass kicked by instructing you while rolling, so that when you land a submission or they fail to escape a hold, they can act like they successfully coached you into it. I've even seen brand new white belts trying to tell blues and purples how to roll and telling them afterwards "I think you could do X or Y a little better, but that was pretty good!" Really, I know that I did a lot of silly things when I started (and still do plenty of silly things, for sure), but one thing that I've never done, not once, is attempt to instruct someone with more experience than me. And of course, these are the same people who tend to bear hug you when you try to pass, because they don't know what else to do yet.

Another kind of gym junkie is that guy or girl who just has to show everyone up, not only when sparring but all the time. Running faster to lap people instead of jogging in a circle with the rest of the class...punching and kicking so hard that they knock their partner over and brushing off suggestions from instructors or teammates on how to improve their technique (a dismissive "yeah, I got it" followed by doing it wrong, again, and nearly hurting someone in the process)...attending a more advanced grappling class, getting angry when they can't get the moves, and then intentionally flailing around and kicking at their partner while rolling because "well I'm sorry, but that's all I know right now." Luckily, they either disappear after a month or two, or eventually get control of themselves.

The last type is the sweet but oblivious workout buff who rolls to tap people out as many times as possible rather than to play and learn. One guy, who is not huge but is quite strong, really wants to compete, which is great. What's not so great is him treating every single roll like a competition match. He's a really good partner to have while learning the moves in class and doing basic drills, but when it comes to actually rolling, there's no in-between. The problem is, he's someone that I get along with so well on a personal level that I can't bring myself to tell him off. But he's extremely rough (a lot of the smaller and/or newer guys are also put off by it) and being manhandled into a bunch of armbars and violent chokes by someone who is going 200% when you are trying to kick back and flow-roll...well, it does absolutely nothing for my jiu jitsu (I can't imagine it does much for his either), is not at all fun and is likely to result in someone being injured.

I mentioned it to him once, but short of flat-out saying "I refuse to roll with you until you calm down," I'm not sure he gets it. I did politely avoid him when rolling the other day, although I think he caught on since every time he came over and asked to pair up, I lunged towards someone else and cried "I'm with him! Sorry!" He looked kind of dejected after the third time this happened, which made me feel bad, but we worked together in class the next day so he knows I'm not shunning him completely. I think the next time we roll, I'll nicely tell him that he either needs to chill out or I'm going to kick back and offer zero resistance, which would be no fun for either of us. Since he does genuinely want to get better, I'm guessing that will annoy him into finding a better balance.

King of the Hill

After much consideration, I've decided that I'm most definitely not a fan of "King of the Hill," which we often close out the Wednesday night class with. Why? Well, because I seem to be the only white belt in that class right now, which means that I last about 5-10 seconds before some blue, purple or brown belt flips me onto my head and boots me to the back of the line. Again and again.

Aside from the normally pitiful finish to the night, Wednesdays are still among my favorites. Last week, I ended up doing a warmup roll with Spike which, considering he's the biggest guy at the gym, was not so much a "warmup" as a OMG, can't breathe, so tired...wait, we still have a whole class left?! kind of roll. Afterwards, Carlo brought everyone together to demonstrate the first technique, which involved this complicated flipping and rolling of your partner straight over your face. When we broke to practice the move, Spike came over all motivated and enthusiastic, saying "Okay, let's do it!" I gave him the look - you know, the bitch, u out ur damn mind?! look - and paired up with Liz instead. Spike looked all let down that his warmup buddy had abandoned him, but considering I had enough trouble pulling off the move on Liz, it was indisputably the best decision for us both.

Speaking of which, it's like...raining X chromosomes here at Ronin lately. Where the hell are all of these women suddenly coming from? Besides me and Liz, there is now badass Kung Fu Xena and two new girls who joined the Fundamentals class, and others have been dropping by for kickboxing and weekend sessions here and there. I mean, at this rate we're really taking over the gym. Xena has officially become my favorite partner for standup work and if she decided to grapple, I think she'd be a great person to train jiu jitsu with as well. She's not sure about the whole slip-n'-slide sweating rivers of nastiness all over each other thing though. I'm still trying to convince her.

BJJ champ Felipe Costa came in to teach jiu jitsu all last week and sadly, I missed the first two days because I had to get more of that disgusting allergy testing done. I made up for it by working extra hard and staying super late on Wednesday, although it was hard to find space since the mats were so packed. I worked with Liz for most of the class, during which Felipe taught us a few new tricks. We closed out the class by rolling, so I had a few intense rounds with The Kid and Birdie (I'm so used to working with more experienced grapplers that it's always slightly disconcerting when I remember I'm actually up against someone newer for a change and need to stop abusing them), and then a slower flow roll with Diesel, which was a welcome relief.

As we bowed out, Brickling got promoted to blue belt (yay) and then almost everyone stayed for open mat, going one lengthy round after another, nonstop, until I thought my lungs were going to explode from the strain of breathing so hard. I went another round with The Kid and then took on KGB, who managed to tap me out with an americana right at the end, but I played very well against him otherwise. I still can't get over how much of a change I feel rolling with him now as opposed to a few months ago. To finish, I finally got to go a round with Trek for the first time in ages. He's great about working hard on his technique instead of resorting to powering through moves like some other big guys do. I got to play offense for the most part and although he swept me a few times, it was a pretty even game and I actually surprised him with a successful kimura from half guard...thank you Liz for making me practice the move during warmups earlier that evening!

On Thursday, we had an in-house blue belt tournament with snacks, soda, pizza, alcohol and lots of good-natured competitive spirit. Everyone was betting on the same two people to win but I told them it would be Diesel and LJack who came out on top and guess what...I was right. Diesel came over afterwards and asked if he'd made me a rich lady. Don't I wish. Considering the odds, if I'd bet actual money, I would've cleaned house! Next time I'll know better.

Side note: I was rolling with Frodo the other day, flipped up and totally landed on his junk. Luckily, he was wearing a good cup so there wasn't too much screaming. Honestly, I can't believe there are so many guys who grapple without wearing titanium. It seems reckless when doing a sport that involves so much close contact in and around the groin area. Not that I go out of my way to kick between the legs or anything but clearly, accidents do happen...

I Can Haz Groove Back (again)?

Oh lawdy, I've been reborn! After nearly a month of spiraling into sin, I've had almost a month of good, hard training to balance it out and am once more feeling great and on the road to healthy lifestyle salvation.

I've also been doing a lot more conditioning work lately since, as much as I love grappling and as much as it makes me sweat, the standup stuff kicks your ass into shape like nothing else. Saturday morning kickboxing has become a routine for me now. It's a smaller, more informal class than the weekday sessions but just as intense. Once, when Dom was teaching, I partnered up with a tall, lanky youngster that I've decided to call Kicker. The reason for this is that he decided - I'm still not clear on why - that he did not care to wear shin pads like everyone else, and spent the whole class kicking the same spot on my thigh with his bony shins...quite hard. I didn't want to be one of those whiny partners that bitches and moans about being too rough, but after a while it really started to hurt and I started to get irritated. So I began kicking him extra hard in return. He's a nice kid and we get along just fine, but I have some anger management issues and very low patience levels so I'm guessing we both went home with giant black and blue patches covering our legs that day. In retrospect, I probably could've handled it better, but what's the point of doing MMA if you can't get a little violent sometimes?

Last week was one of those lazy mornings and only two other students came. Jazz, presumably not wanting to inflict my epic levels of incompetence on either Archie or Kicker, paired them up together and took on the task of working with me, which was almost as good as getting a private lesson. He pushed me like a boot camp sergeant to work extra hard, focusing purely on developing my technique, which is often nonexistent. After 45 minutes, my punches were getting more technical and less flaily, and felt a bit more solid. I was even starting to get that warm fuzzy feeling one experiences when it seems like you're finally doing something right. Then came a bit of live sparring and it all fell apart. Once he realized what a particular disaster I was, Jazz started from scratch to teach me some basic defense, which was a big help although I still left with my ears hurting from failing to block too many times. On the upside, Xena is coming in once or twice a week now, which is nice considering she's 1) a much more experienced kickboxer than me and 2) actually in my weight class, so I don't stumble halfway across the gym every time she throws a kick.

Jiu Jitsu is continuing to go well. I've developed more of an appreciation for gi training now. The grips still piss me off since I can't do half of them with my right hand, but I try to mix and match gi and no-gi approaches to certain moves, which helps. There are a ton - and I mean a freakin ton - of new people coming in lately. It's funny how quickly you get used to introducing yourself in the most ridiculous positions. Like oops, sorry, didn't mean to grab that! Let me just get my arm around here and through the legs and...hi! I'm Reese! What's your name? Been training long? But it's great to be training with so many hard-working and enthusiastic people of all different levels. See picture above: me in the middle, in the back, in blue, in mount, beating up on brand newbie for a change.

After Fundamentals this week, I was trying to leave but Liz convinced me to stay for the start of the late class and do a "light warmup roll" with her, "just until Carlo's ready." I should've known not to trust either of them. Liz took the opportunity to kick my ass up and down the mat, enjoying herself way too much as she threw on one ridiculous submission after another, with Carlo sitting a few feet away, enjoying the show as he slowly ate an energy bar. Every time Liz started cranking my arm in this or that direction, I would call out asking if he was ready to take over yet. He just smiled and shrugged, and kept fucking eating. I think he's still bitter that I never gave him a proper nickname.

Best night ever: Christian, after seeing a bunch of updates on Facebook about my love for Backstreet Boys and NKOTB, decided to loop the same three Backstreet songs for an entire class, much to the dismay of everyone else. While I was rocking out to "Larger Than Life" over and over...and over...the boys looked like they were ready to have some kind of group meltdown. I have to say, it just doesn't get better than watching a bunch of badass tough guys kickboxing to "I Want It That Way" and "The One." It really doesn't. Frodo was the only one who wasn't tearing his hair out and that's because he was too busy laughing. Doubled over, nearly in tears, he was so entertained by the fact that I like old school boybands so much that he's still joking with me about it a month later.

Six Months and Counting

Last Monday, class was running into open mat as usual. Christian had me jump in to drill escapes from mount with The Kid and even though I only caught the last 10 minutes, I was able to work up a sweat. When class ended, Brickling came over and seemed oddly determined to roll with me. I'm not sure why...maybe because I finally gave him a nickname here. At any rate, roll we did, for a damn long time. I'm not sure how much he gets out of it though, since he's insanely strong for such a short guy and has a wrestling background. He just kept tapping me out while I swore incessantly, but we had a good time.

On Wednesday, Liz warmed us up and it was brutal. I recommended that she stop torturing us and become a military drill sergeant instead. She seemed quite happy with the idea and promptly ordered what felt like a hundred more pushups. The class itself was a great lesson on armbars...from closed guard, then partner standing, then working flower sweeps if the armbar fails. I love Carlo's style of instruction and Wednesday night always has a particularly good crowd. I've felt a lot more competent with armbars since then; even if they don't always work, I think I'm executing them much better now. I also love working with Liz because one, she really knows her shit and two, we have similar sarcastic personalities. When you can make obnoxious, inappropriate jokes with your partner when something goes wrong...bonus. Stayed to roll for another hour when class was over, beginning with Scruffy who just kicked my ass up and down the mats without mercy. I did get an americana and an arm triangle choke on him at the end, but at least one of those was him feeling bad and giving me a win.

I wasn't going to stay for the late class on Thursday but Christian tricked me into it by telling me to "go defeat Diesel." I rolled lightly with Diesel for a while but it eventually turned into a warmup by stopping for short intervals of pushups, burpees, armbar swings, and before I knew it the class had started. So sneaky. I love working with Diesel though. He tends to roll slowly and precisely, favoring this calm, laid back flow style that allows you time to think about what you're doing and to consider the moves you might be able to try. Curly joined us once instruction began and the three of us worked together on rolling back attacks. I really enjoyed the first version from mount (let them catch your ankle, then swing a leg around and roll over your shoulder, taking them with you), but couldn't for my life get the other two variations right. Christian said that size and strength shouldn't matter,so I was clearly doing it wrong because both boys felt too damn heavy. I'll focus on the first version for now.

Wrapped up class by rolling with Shyguy, who I'd only drilled with twice before and had never actually sparred with (I used to think he was uncomfortable training with women but maybe that's because the first time we worked together was only my second time and now that he's seen me there for 6 months it's all good), then with Brickling and KGB. It occurred to me that night that I need to start practicing each technique for a while after class to burn it into my brain before I go. I sometimes rush to learn moves instead of internalizing the best form of execution before building up to speed.

Rolled with Dom for open mat over the weekend, then attempted to roll with Catman - I was so incompetent with him that it turned into more of a private lesson on standing guard passes - and ended the day by going up against Spike. I've noticed lately that by the time Saturday comes, I'm feeling extremely lazy and low energy, and don't end up being all that productive on the mats. I need to start motivating myself to put in a bit more effort on the weekends, like I did when I first began. Of course, at that time I was only going 3 days rather than 4-6 times a week.

Monday, however, was the best open mat I've had in a while, and the most productive. Admittedly, I often take lengthy breaks. I roll, I get tired, I chill for a long time like a beached whale, then I roll again, then chill again...and sometimes it makes me feel lazy. Not this week. I came, stretched out and rolled with one person after another for an hour and a half with very few breaks. It was goddamn refreshing. I warmed up with Krypton, who was not fucking around that night, and spent most of the time desperately trying to escape back control. With Curly next, who went harder on me than usual, which I expected after giving him such hell during our last roll. He tapped me out a bunch but I did get him in an arm triangle choke once and executed it quickly and efficiently. Went a few rounds with KGB next and it was the best I've done against him yet. He did submit me a few times but rather than spending the rest of the time just floundering on the bottom, I did much better at defense, got a successful hip bump, held mount really well for a while and almost got a keylock on him. It was a much more equal roll than usual and even if I still technically got my ass kicked...progress!

Spaceman finally returned to the mats and we got to roll for the first time in three months. It was awesome. I was expecting to do a bit better since I've had so much more time on the mats recently, but I made some dumbass mistakes and walked into a couple of chokes and an armbar, so he deserved the wins. That said, I did get an americana on him...had to work like hell for it too, no freebies there, so I really earned it. I rarely feel that way about my submissions.

Tonight we worked spider guard sweeps, which I'm not a real fan of due to trouble with the grips, but it was a fun class and a very intense workout. We started off with what was supposed to be a "light roll" and ended up being a lengthy and utterly exhausting few rounds instead. I paired up with blue belt Rex, who I'd seen around but never talked to before, and we quickly tired ourselves out. During open mat, I rolled with fellow white belt Tigger, who is new to Ronin but must've studied BJJ elsewhere. I've only started seeing him around recently but he certainly knows what he's doing and, although it was a fairly even back-and-forth match, he did manage to armbar me twice. Finished by facing off with Scruffy and gave him a run for his money this time, finally catching him in a fairly well executed armbar from guard, which he was actually fighting against, so I damn sure earned that one too.

On a side note, The Kid is currently pretending to not speak to me because I refused to roll with him since he jacked up my arm, and now he's a little offended. It seems that he went home the day it happened, immediately forgot all about it, and now can't understand why I feel the need to be careful. I'll see what I can do to make him feel less left out until my arm has fully recovered.

The 28th Year

I turned 28 at the beginning of this month and for the first time in years, I'm down to 137 lbs and fitting into clothes that I'd given up all hope on long ago. It's an amazing feeling and I'm more inspired now than ever to keep at it.

A few weeks ago, I went to Rocky's weekend conditioning class, which I normally avoid because it makes me want to throw up (a few people actually have in the past...seriously, into the trash can near the door...one of them twice in an hour). Personally, I haven't built up the proper endurance to survive it yet and it nearly killed me. I was also thoroughly shamed at one point when we lined up for a drill that the other women (there are two ladies who come in just for the conditioning class once a week) made look so easy, and one of these chicks is a total stick. I was watching them do it and thinking to myself pfft...I'll make them look silly. But when my turn came, I couldn't do it. AT ALL. Everyone was extremely encouraging though, and I eventually made it through the class with a lot of bitching, moaning and a sacrilegious amount of swearing.

Feeling slightly less disastrous when it comes to kickboxing, although still very self-conscious about my lack of standup skills. Curly paired up with me the other day and I did end up getting the combinations down without feeling as lost as I normally do. For the first time in ages, I didn't sit anything out due to injury and was able to keep up with everyone else. I started to fall apart near the end (Christian always wraps up the last 10 minutes with a second wave of brutal conditioning work) but Curly kept yelling at me to stay with it and not give up, and I somehow made it.

Later in the week, I rolled with Krypton for the first time in a few weeks and he said he noticed a real difference. I got a great pass at one point by twisting my hips and maneuvering around the side, and I don't know which one of us was more surprised. I also did very well at holding mount and got props for landing an unexpected North South choke. At one point, Krypton used the size difference to just step over into mount, paused for a second, shook his head and went "oh that was just cheap" and then reset, which cracked me up. After six months, he's still one of my favorite people to work with. Unfortunately, I went a few rounds with The Kid next and, after wrecking him for 20 minutes, finally went easier to let him play offense. Mistake. He got overly excited about an Americana while my other arm was trapped and had apparently never heard of verbally tapping out. I had to yell it six times before he stopped, at which point I was in a lot of pain.

I decided months ago that if I stayed home every time I was hurting, I'd never get to work out, so I've been logging mat hours 4-5 times a week regardless of any injuries. I did a warmup roll a few days after The Kid tried to detach my shoulder and the jacked up arm started to feel like lead almost immediately, becoming heavy and achy before the class even began. I worked in with Jazz and Scruffy and did my best to keep up but by the time we finished, the arm was too tired to even lift a near-empty water bottle without shaking.

Had a lot of work to do this Monday so I couldn't stay for long, but I did manage to swing by and get in thirty solid minutes with Rits and Birdy. Rits has become a good friend of mine outside of the gym but in spite of talking constantly, we haven't actually trained together since I first began, so it was nice to roll with him for once. Birdy is part of Big Boy's kiddie club, so although he's strong, he's both young and less experienced, which is a combination that I don't often get. I had to keep reminding myself to play nice and let him, you know, do something instead of just submitting him again and again. I'm not going to say that it wasn't satisfying to work my offense and beat up on someone else for a change, but next time I'll aim for more of a balance and less blatant douchebaggery.

Wednesday was a great class on breaking and passing the De la Riva. Carlo yelled at me a few times to stop being so nice to Trek and to push down harder and "try to break his fucking ribs," but I otherwise did well with the moves. Of course, I strained my ass again in the process but what can you do. Rascal was in one of his moods during kickboxing last night and he completely destroyed us with conditioning work, so there was extra suffering involved. At one point, however, he did yell out encouragement that he's finally starting to notice a tricep or two. For the last part of the class, he had everyone take turns beating up one kid for his birthday, and by everyone, I mean everyone except for me because I'm still too much of a pussball to spar. Fundamentals was solid as well and I learned a few awesome sweeps with Wardog that I can't wait to try live. My left shoulder is still feeling a bit weak but much better these days, and I should be fully recovered soon enough. Can't wait to see what the next few months bring!

Reese On a Roll

After four straight days of intensive training, my body desperately needed a break so I skipped Friday's open mat and went for an low key wrestling class on Saturday. Rolled with Dom afterwards and got it on camera, which I later watched a whole bunch of times to see where I'm going wrong. Looking at it, there are so many bad decisions going on and there are an equal number of things that I should be doing but am not thinking about in the moment. So it's good to reflect on my many incompetencies with a visual aid. Also, the 15 - 20 lbs I still need to lose? Yep, that really needs to go. Like, asap.

Monday was intense. Did a warmup roll with Thumper, who pulled some awesome sweeps on me, then paired up with him for takedowns. Later, we drilled by hand fighting round robin style. Went with Thumper first, then Curly, Lostboy and Schizo, who I didn't have much luck with but then again, he's been wrestling for a long time so it's understandable that he'd be good at, like...wrestling. Near the end of class, I switched to Lostboy for upside down D'arce chokes, which I did quite well with although he struggled a bit and did more neck cranking than anything else.

Class was followed by a great open mat. Rolled with Thumper for a few rounds and did better, then Lostboy and got a genuine submission - a rare occurrence for me - by way of stepover armbar, which is turning out to be one of my favorite moves, and then Jersey, which didn't go so well...darn blue belts. To wrap it up, I beat up The Kid a bit which in retrospect wasn't very nice. The poor guy spent 4 minutes stuck on the bottom and then bailed after I got an americana, even though we still had nearly 2 minutes left on the clock. Oops. Next time I'll try not to be such a dick.

Kickboxing was expectedly brutal...pure cardio work start to finish. KGB made it look annoyingly easy, of course. If the five billion and one pushups and situps fazed him, he damn sure didn't show it. I was right next to him, so it looked extra bad whenever I had to stop and recover. After class, I rolled with him for a while and although I basically spent 99.9% of the time trying to bridge and shrimp out of mount, side control and fuck knows what else (eventually got tapped out by RNC), the near-six-minute round was a marked improvement from the very first time we rolled two and a half months ago, where I got choked out in literally 10 seconds. Lasting for 6 minutes, even if most of it was spent flailing around on the bottom, means that I'm learning something (such as how to get to and hold half guard, even if I generally fail at doing anything else from there).

Phyiscal therapy ran over so I got to gi class half an hour late yesterday and tried to get my stretching done quickly while others paired up for warmups. I didn't get away with it for long though. Carlo finally noticed, asked what the fuck I was doing and said to find a friend and get to work. I partnered with Jacks, a blue belt who had also come late, to drill armbars from different positions (knee on belly, side control and from the back, all ending up in same place for the submission). It was fantastic stuff to learn, a great set of moves and I got them down pretty fast. Now, if only I could think clearly enough to use them in the moment instead of forgetting everything halfway through...

Rolled with Thumper for a long while after class. Trek watched us as he did his own exercises nearby, offering commentary here and there such as "Don't accept that, Reese! Take him out!" It was a really good round except for a brief moment where I ducked down at an awkward angle and got stabbed just between the eyelid and eyebrow with his toenail. I looked in the mirror later and realized how lucky I'd been. Another inch lower and I might've had a serious eye injury.

I attempted to take a break after that but Carlo called me over for the next round and damn, he's intense. I still remember being a wreck the first time I ever rolled with him, and now that I have a vague sense of what I'm doing, he pushes me even more. He was chuckling a lot this time, which is never a good sign. When Carlo does his maniacal chuckle, it means one of two things: either you're about to get royally fucked up or you're missing a great submission that's right in your face. He taught me the hitchhiker escape from armbar and had me practice it over and over from different sides. Really, there's no room to breathe with him; it's just one move after another and before you can even think about resetting, he throws out some other move and is like "What are you doing? LET'S GO!" I learn so much from him every time though; it's awesome.

Tried to take another break but Liz offered to teach me omoplatas, which was fun although good luck to me trying to remember all of those damn steps. Had a good round with C-Bear next and ended by going a few rounds with Trek. I'd drilled with him before but we'd never actually sparred, so I wasn't sure how I'd do. It ended up being a great round, though...one of those rare occasions where I actually felt like I knew what I was doing. A whole group was watching us and C-Bear and the others started cheering with shit like "Whoa, look at that!" and "Yeah, punish him, Reese!" Curly said afterwards that I was like a little wild animal all over him. Trek and I finished by going over kimuras and then I saw that Liz, Krypton and Carlo had some sort of boot camp in progress on the sidelines. I made the mistake of walking over and got peer pressured into joining them for a final set of painful abs work, although by the time Carlo demanded 100 pushups, I called it a night.

Kickboxing was mostly round robin sparring today. I'm still having trouble with blocking but am doing slightly better with punches and combos. Sadly, my momentum was interrupted at the start of gi class when I jacked up my upper arm/shoulder by falling on it hard during a sweep...twice in a row. The first time hurt but wasn't debilitating. The second time jarred the bone and sent lightning bolts of pain through my arm, leaving it tingling to the fingertips. I had already been putting a lot of strain on it between the kickboxing and pushups, so that was sort of the final straw and my body went into fuck you mode. Carlo came over to do his physical therapisty thing and determined that it was not, in fact, a life threatening injury. His advice was to just "ice the shit out of it for a week."

Since I didn't want to risk further strain, I sat out to ice the shoulder and tried to learn by observing the rest of the class. My arm eventually felt good enough to do some light stuff so I worked with Liz, who was also sitting out for the moment, wondering whether or not she'd just broken her thumb, and she helped me practice back escapes and then s-mount armbars, going at like .05 % so that neither of us fucked ourselves up further. Near the end of open mat, I was meandering around aimlessly when Krypton rolled over from a few feet away (literally just came tumbling head over heels) and went for inverted guard, so I ran with it. A little voice in back of head was saying Dont do it! Stay away from the big dudes or you'll mess up your shoulder even more! but I ignored the stupid little voice and am glad I did because it was a nice, fun roll and more importantly, I managed some really good stuff...like my first ever successful armbar from closed guard (as in, in the moment, not just drilling). I set up the armbar and in response, Krypton stood up to try to get out. Granted, he wasn't going too hard but still...I had to put in the effort to make it work, without time to think about it, and for once it actually did work. I also got my first ever sweep on him. Even in the past when he wasn't resisting at all, I was unable to sweep him because I didnt get the technique right. Tonight, something just clicked and I did. It was pretty damn thrilling.

I'm off to Charleston for the weekend, which means total inactivity for the next three days and that's probably a good thing. Even without the shoulder problems, I've been training extra hard lately and do need the rest. It'll be good to take a short break before starting again on Monday.

I Can Haz Groove Back?

I've been training nonstop lately and am feeling so good, physically and mentally. We spent Monday working on knee-on-belly transitions (having trouble with those...not quite acrobatic enough yet) and kneebars, which I enjoyed. The guy I paired up with was big, which doesn't usually bother me except that some of the moves required sitting on the other person's stomach or chest, full weight, and it really fucking hurt. So towards the end of class, we split up and he worked in with another pair of big dudes while I joined Frodo and Yanitza. I think it was far more beneficial to both of us that way. Stayed for open mat and rolled with everyone, including Ironman, who did the usual leaning back casually with his head in his hands and kicking me across the mat every time I tried to pass his guard. At one point, I did pass and even got to mount. Unfortunately, I was so proud of myself that I completely forgot what to do from there and he eventually just sat up and threw me off again. Dammit.

On a positive note, I haven't been completely sucking at kickboxing, which is a great change from the norm. I'm not doing well per se, but neither am I make a total moron of myself, so I consider it a win, even if the conditioning work still makes me want to cry. Went for my first Wednesday class yesterday, for Carlo's gi session. Jumped Curly from behind while he was in the middle of a tough love speech to a new kid and got a little warmup roll in. I hadn't worked with him recently and was very happy to hear him say with some level of surprise "oh, look at you getting all good and shit!" Paired up with Liz for class to do armbars from all kinds of places. I had no idea you could armbar the hell out of someone when they stood up in closed guard...must try that sometime.

Rolled with Spaceman for a few rounds during open mat, starting from standing and working our takedowns. I caught him in a guillotine the first time, held it for a bit but then lost my balance and he ended up on top, eventually passing and getting an arm triangle choke. Did fine with defense overall but didn't have much luck with offense or escapes tonight. His pressure was really on and I could barely move. C-Bear was sitting on the mat next to us and started up with his funny boxing commentator thing, but I ended up getting so confused and distracted that I flat out gave my partner the next submission and had to tell my enthusiastic "coach" to shut it.

Rolled with Krypton next and lasted 20 seconds longer than last time before he crushed me, which I feel is a great improvement. After some initial abuse, he did let me work my moves and although sweep efforts were futile, I got some great practice at holding half guard, trying to take the back and trying to pass. It took a very long time and every ounce of energy my arms had, but I finally got a successful choke. He also spent some time giving me pointers on improving my Shoulder of Justice and using it to escape half guard, which I felt really good about by the time we finished.

Wrapped up by rolling with Wardog. I was transitioning pretty fluidly and was able to make use of Krypton's earlier crossfacing tips, which got me out of half guard and into side control really fast a whole bunch of times. I was cursing myself at one point when he remembered the moves we'd learned on Monday (mount to gift wrap) and caught me in that annoying death hold. Fortunately, he blanked out on what to do next and I was able to escape and turn it back on him.

Tonight...wow. I didn't think I'd be able to do it but I managed to stay for all three classes...4.5 hours in all. Liz led gi class today and to "warm up," she ran us through a series of unusual exercises, including a few rounds of dodgeball during which I got repeatedly smashed in the face in spite of the "no head shots" rule. The first culprit was Trek, who beaned me at high velocity from across the room. Seeing as he's one of the biggest guys at the gym and throws like a speeding mack truck, he felt really bad and kept apologizing, even though I repeatedly said it was fine. Sure, it hurt like hell for 20 minutes and I was wondering how black my eye would eventually turn, but I grew up getting kicked in the face with soccer cleats as a star goalkeeper so really, life goes on. Unfortunately, rogue dodgeballs just started to find me after that. I got hit in the face multiple times, including once when I was hiding behind a pillar and the fucking ball bounced off the wall and smacked into my nose. LJack nearly fell over in a fit of laughter at that point and I have to admit, even though it was pretty damn painful the whole thing was so WTF that it was also pretty damn funny.

When class ended, a bunch of us hung around for another hour and a half. I took a break, did some cell phone photography (Liz kindly offered to take a few pictures of me getting choked out or armbarred) and then rolled with Spike. And when I say "rolled" I mean "attempted to do something, anything at all, and failed." Took another break to record Yanitza and Curly's weekly showdown, then trained with Krypton for a long while. Ended up having a really good round with him and was able to use the crossface-from-half-guard escape a few times too. Afterwards, he gave me some new tips on stepping in to get the pass and I have to say, so far the guy's advice has consistently ended up working really well for me against other people, so I take all the suggestions I can get.

Side note: I've finally encountered my first spazz. This kid is small but still gets crazy, trying to power out of everything. He flails around like a dying bug instead of making a conscious effort to learn the techniques. As a result, he tends to body slam people, which is not appreciated, and, instead of properly applying chokes, violently drives his forearm into people's throats. He seems to think he can step onto the mats and magically kick ass because he's seen some Youtube videos and taken 2-3 classes. Still, everyone's being very patient, telling him politely but firmly to chill out and take time to learn the techniques, so he's got plenty of support and will likely shape up soon.

New Year's Resolutions

1) Stop saying Oh shit, I'm sorry! or variations thereupon. Remember that everyone is there to learn. Constant apologies for utter incompetence, smacks to the face, accidental junk grabs and so on are unnecessary. As Trek so eloquently put it, "If you kick me in the eye or smash the groin, unintentionally - or especially intentionally - you should be sorry. Definitely be sorry if it's intentional. Otherwise, don't be." Apparently, I'm too nice. This is news to me. I'm usually an insensitive, mildly sociopathic asshole. Must work on finding a happy balance.

2) Stop belittling my own progression. When I do something right or pick up a move fast, stop assuming that I just got lucky, that it was especially easy, or that my partner let me do it. Sometimes that's the case, but lately I've been doing fairly well all on my own.

3) Remember that some moves will work great and some will not, depending on technique, partner, mood and other factors. It's not a life-destroying setback if I get one move or variation down but am not immediately successful with another.

4) Stop destroying partners during drills. Just because they're big doesn't mean they don't need time to learn the move too. Goal: go a full session without Christian saying "Go easy, you're just practicing here! Control the blood lust!"

5) Learn how to block properly so that people stop punching me in the face.

6) Successfully make it through one set of pyramid kicks.

7) Successfully make it through one set of pyramid kicks without looking like an idiot.

~~~~

As you can see, it's a brand new year...3 months in and I'm still having a blast. Admittedly, I lost my groove a bit after the last update what with the binge eating and laziness that goes along with the holiday season. Only hit the gym once over the following week and a half, and the one day I went in, I just wasn't feeling it. Headache, lack of motivation, the list goes on. Thankfully, I got my couch potato ass moving again this week and finally seem to be back on track.

Class started late on Monday. When I walked in, it looked like open mat: post-holiday warzone style...everyone was trying to burn off their sins from the previous week. Yanitza had shown up for her first Monday, so I rolled with her a while. Note for future: her thighs of death are not to be trifled with. For a smaller person, she can seriously crack some ribs. I must learn her tricks. Actually, most of the small people around here have killer thighs, like Brickling and Frodo. I guess being shorter and lighter means they've found ways to compensate. I'm trying to study and learn from them all.

Skipped kickboxing on Tuesday but Fundamentals was good. Worked with KGB on maintaining mount, applying submissions and transitioning to triangle arm chokes and back control. I did decently, even though my legs weren't long enough to sprawl effectively at times. Drilled the moves later with Wardog, who kicked my ass a bit - an unfortunate change from our last time together when I did so well and he was the one struggling. Of course, we were both tired by then and he was completely throwing his weight around. He even admitted that he was using pure strength and virtually no skill at that point. He called it the "fat man technique." Not that he's actually fat, but he was feeling like a bit of a doughboy after the break as well. I can relate.

I had a bit of a panic attack when I got home later and realized that my left ear was warm, hurting and visibly swollen, but after seeing a doctor, I was told that it was bruised, hardly cauliflower ear, and to just take some advil and chill out. Did I mention that I suffer from mild hypochondria? In my defense though, I spent all evening getting the fuck squeezed out of my head by two very strong guys, so better safe than sorry.

Throbbing ears aside, tonight was incredibly fun as well. I finally hauled ass in for kickboxing and Rascal's torture circle of abs exercises was refreshing after nearly two weeks off. Although I felt really stupid, as usual, I did slightly better with blocking today. Very slightly. Started out drilling basic combinations with Diesel, then moved into sparring...extremely light sparring, in my case, lest I got bashed in the head because I kept catching opponents' hands like a cat instead of swatting and blocking properly. Oh well. Sparred with Diesel first, then Spaceman, who went harder and challenged me a bit. God, did I feel like a moron throwing up the wrong hands at all the wrong times. I quickly gave up on even trying to block the kicks and just focused on the blows coming at my head. Sparred with The Kid next, who was nice but who didn't seem to want to throw any kicks, and then wrapped it up with Big Boy, who made me dizzy circling around so much but did help me get into a groove with blocking punches. Ended the class with a series of pyramid kicks, also with Big Boy, at which I predictably failed miserably. Rascal makes it look annoyingly easy but kicking that fast, that many times...holy shit. I vow right now to be more consistent with those classes because I hate feeling so lost.

Fundamentals went much better, of course. We continued our theme from Tuesday and I paired up with Wardog to do more mount transitions and submissions. I love the guy but he can be a bit of a spazz to roll with because he really works the pure strength angle. He also decided not to wear a cup tonight...he finally informed me of this right when I had my head trapped near his crotch while doing armbars, because he didn't want to get elbowed in the balls. Thanks, buddy.

Near the end of class, we switched it up and I drilled with Killer for a while. Got his back at one point just as Christian was passing, and was told that I'd have gotten points for it in a competition. Killer, of course, decided that vengeance was absolutely necessary and threw out some surprise moves the following round to get my back. He muscled his way into a rear naked choke and said "so...we've established that this means points, right?" Smug bastard. We had fun with that though.

All in all, it's good to be back to my routine of healthy eating and regular exercise. I felt so out of sorts without my gym time over the holiday break...let's not do that again.

New People, New Places

After much badgering from Liz and Yanitza, I went to the NYC women's open mat at Clockwork BJJ on Sunday and, although I essentially got my ass handed to me by every female grappler in the Tri-State area, including a few very tiny girls who were probably half my weight, I also landed my first genuine, well executed submissions by way of stepover armbar and americana. So I came out of the whole thing feeling quite abused but equally satisfied. Rolling with total strangers at a different venue is a great way to gauge personal progress, and considering I was the least experienced person there by a few months, I'm pretty happy with how I did, even if it was essentially 2 hours of getting knocked around. What else is new? By the way, that's me in the picture...in the back, in blue...about to get swept...yep.

Monday's usual grappling class left me feeling pretty happy too. I did a warmup roll with Schizo and then we paired up to drill triangles and arm drags/taking the back from closed guard. I'd seen the guy around so many times but for one reason or another, I'd gotten it into my head that he was totally unapproachable and never talked to him. I don't even know why; it was nothing in particular. And when we finally ended up working together, he turned out to be really, really nice, so of course I felt like a horse's ass.

I did very well with the moves that day, although I struggled a bit once the resistance levels increased. Schizo is pretty jacked, so it was a bitch and a half trying to force his arm this way and that. He wasn't douchey about it though, and I was able to get the moves eventually; it just took some extra effort. Class ran over well into open mat, so we got a hell of a workout. I kept looking at the clock, thinking holy shit, I can't do any more, is class over yet? but Christian just kept going. I rolled with Thumper first, who did what he usually does and wiped the floor with me; then with Frodo, who kept getting into mount, which was amazingly irritating. I mainly used it as a chance to work on escapes and the bridge/sweep move I learned on Sunday from one of the girls. Rolled with Spaceman after that, which went very well. It was the first time he was ever unable to tap me out and we ended up in this back-and-forth stalemate for the round. Then back to Schizo again, who was looking like death at that point (as was I). With us both running out of steam, it was a much less aggressive round than our first few rolls, but we did what we could.

On Tuesday, I partnered with Archie for another intense kickboxing class. I'm trying to rotate who I work with day-to-day, so that I don't plague any one person with my total incompetence for too long. Things haven't changed much; I'm doing all right with the kicks but still feel like a real ditz when trying to box and am having trouble keeping up with the combinations. I apologized so many times throughout the class that Archie finally threatened to punch me in the face if I said I was sorry one more time. I don't think he was kidding.

Worked with Yanitza for Fundamentals to practice high percentage sweeps from half guard, which I actually picked up on quickly and did great with. Unfortunately, those same moves became five hundred thousand times harder when attempted on the big guys. For instance, when we switched partners and I drilled the same sweep with Trek, all of the smoothness and grace I'd felt at the beginning of class went right out the window. Honestly, I think I spent more time grabbing ass than anything else. It was hard as hell to reach down and get the foot, let alone hold it there long enough to roll him over. Long legs and short arms...what a fucking combination. Trek said it would've worked perfectly on someone smaller (yipee) but with someone his size, I'll have to do more rocking back and forth until I can catch him off balance. Worked with KGB after that and had an even tougher time...it was nearly impossible to accomplish anything while he was leaning down. Couldn't even get the first underhook without immense effort. Still, it's a huge motivator to continue focusing on and improving my technique.

Things got pretty nasty by the end with massive rivers of sweat on the mat, which had effectively turned into Christian's Wild Slip-'n-Slide about halfway through. At one point, I was shuffling on my knees towards KGB, slipped in the mess and nearly fell on my face. I can see why some people prefer to stick to gi training, although as gross as it is sometimes, I do enjoy no-gi more. That said, if having your head buried in someone else's sweaty crotch for two hours doesn't warrant one hell of a shower with fruity scented soap, I'm not entirely sure what does.

Mixed Martial Arts, Actually?

Well, I can finally say that I train MMA. Until recently, I hadn't been making use of all the classes that my gym offers. I'd only been doing Fundamentals 3 times a week (which was plenty for someone just starting out) plus open mats here and there. 2 months in, I've finally reached a point where I'm in decent enough shape to spazz my way through kickboxing before Fundamentals and/or BJJ afterwards. I've also built up to going more often and on different days of the week. So with those adjustments, I'm getting well-rounded training in all areas: standup, clinch and ground plus gi. It's important to note that I don't actually do MMA, but I am officially training MMA in hopes of someday being able to do something resembling it.

~KICKBOXING~

Two weeks ago, I finally stopped making excuses and hauled my ass to kickboxing. As expected, it was an awesome workout that included a death circle of abs exercises, which wasn't easy, especially since I don't have 500 packs like some others in the class do. But I was also not disabled by it for weeks afterwards like I was when I first came in. Clearly, six weeks of grappling is paying off and I'm slowly getting in shape whether I realize it or not.

This week, I got snarky with Rascal and he decided to torture us with 30 minutes of intense cardio. Unfortunately, the class also involved a lot of pushups and I suck at pushups. It's kind of incredible that anyone could suck at pushups as much as I do. Arm strength is nonexistent. It's like...one wannabe bicep and the rest is Pillsbury Doughboy material. I was able to do maybe 5 half-assed pushups at a time before flat out collapsing (mind you, the goal was like...40), so it didn't go very well. But I will endeavor to do better next time.

Fact: I boxed during high school. Which makes my current performance in the standup classes all the more shameful. I've actually forgotten how to box. Like, completely. I feel like a total ditz when I throw a punch now, and I'm sure I don't look any better. One can only hope, for my sake and for the sake of any and all future kickboxing partners, that I get my shit together and pick up the techniques soon enough, because as of now, my attempts have been about on par with the Three Stooges. I paired up with KGB on Tuesday and he was kind enough to not punch me in the head too hard, although I'm betting that by the end of class, he wanted to. For my life, I could not get the side blocks or the ducking/twisting part down. I was having some kind of dyslexic attack and doing the exact opposite of what I should've done. Rascal says I'll get the hang of it someday.

~TAKEDOWNS~

My jiu jitsu needs a lot of work but apparently, my wrestling is getting decent. I find this amusing because I've always hated the idea of "wrestling." My younger brother was a big WWF/WCW fan as a teen and I was subjected to hours and hours of campy fake fighting performed by steroid-abusing wannabes in fruity outfits. So that is, unfortunately, what I most often associate the word with. It's kind of funny that real wrestling is now something that I enjoy so much.

Saturday, Dom ran us through a defensive drill where our only goal was to tap each other's legs. If your partner's hand so much as brushed your leg, you had to do 10 pushups. The point was to be so awesome at hopping around and getting out of the way that you could avoid the penalty. Basically, I rocked the shit out of this exercise. Homeboy got my leg once right at the start and I had to crank out a set of 10 but after that, I was the one tapping him, again and again. When we switched partners, I paired up with Southie and he had to do an epic amount of pushups. I didn't feel bad though, because Southie is huge with an amazing physique. It couldn't have been too hard on him. When we switched again and I was paired with The Kid, the poor boy was getting desperate as he'd lost so many times already. He was flailing and I lost track of how many times I tapped his leg. He did a few token pushups at first but then eventually stopped doing them altogether. Personally, I had a total blast and was smiling and feeling pretty damn smug the whole way through. The boys did not look so pleased.

~GRAPPLING~

When it comes to groundwork, I've greatly improved my side control technique and my use of the Shoulder of Justice. Have to say, I really enjoy using it on other people but am not at all fond of having done to me. My jaw still hurts from practicing half-guard escapes with Archie last week.

During Monday's class, I rolled with Rascal to warm up, which I thought would be a lot more intense given his drill sergeant approach to kickboxing, but he turned out to be a really good, laid back partner. It was kind of jarring. No, it was totally jarring to hear him talking in such a quiet voice and being so nice. I wanted to ask him WTF he did with the real Rascal. Later, I rolled with Spaceman for the first time in a while. In round one, I did a nice takedown but he caught me in a guillotine on the way down, and I ended up in a bad enough position that I pretty much choked myself out while attempting to stack him. I was entirely on the defensive the whole way through, with no chance to attempt anything but escapes, but except for the first round, it took him a lot longer to pass guard and sub me than on previous occasions, so I'm happy enough with that.

Thursday's Fundamentals focused on headlocks, which sucked for me because that's something I can't do until these damn stitches come out. Instead, I rolled with Yanitza a few times and got my butt kicked, as usual. Rolled with Curly once and that was downright ridiculous. Dude had a busted shoulder and I still couldn't do anything to him. Couldn't even pass his guard. It was not a good night for the ol' ego. After coming up with as many excuses as possible to head home instead of joining the gi class (I'm tired...my knee hurts...my calf hurts...I haven't been getting enough sleep...I only have one gi so I wouldn't be able to wash it before Sunday's open mat...), I eventually ended up totally pussing out and took off. Liz wasn't buying any of it and kept giving me looks that said I've got your number, you lazy bum. But in spite of her pep talks and my genuine wish to join in, I just didn't have another hour or two of workout left in me that night.

On my way out, I stopped in the lobby to look up something on my phone, which was going so slow I thought I might start bashing it against the wall (fuck you, iphone), when Rascal and Curly came down and invited me to hit McDonald's with them. I've actually sworn off Mickey D's ever since I got severe bouts of food poisoning at two separate locations, but I joined them anyway and just hung out while they ate. Yes, I've become that girl...the one who has a salad with nonfat dressing while everyone else is devouring bacon cheeseburgers. Then again, everyone else is probably not trying to lose 20 lbs, so screw them. It was still fun just hanging out and listening to the boys bullshit and do impressions of Brazilians and Italians and panhandlers and fuck knows what else. Pure entertainment, those two, I'm telling you.

Today, at long last, I forced myself to go for Rocky's Saturday morning hour of hell, which kicked my ass seven ways from Sunday. Grappling is just dandy for working certain muscles but I need to do more conditioning work to build up overall strength and endurance so that people (Yanitza, for example) can't go around grabbing my fucking arm fat. Ironman came in for open mat today, so I rolled with him for a while and ended up a sweaty, hyperventilating mess. Passing that guy's guard remains an impossible task. I did a good job and got around the legs twice but the rest of my attempts were an epic failure. Still, the two times that I did succeed were pretty cool. I even got his back at one point but the man must have a neck of steel because I tried to choke him out for two minutes straight and nothing happened. I was sure that everything was in the right place but I guess something was off. I did manage a successful armbar though, with him giving some really good advice on how to pull the arm through when the person's locking up.

Anyway, it's been a great experience branching out from Fundamentals. It's given me the chance to train with a lot of new people, to try out new things, and to exercise brand new muscles that are now aching but not screaming bloody murder like they did on my very first day. I hope to keep this routine going strong and to continue improving in all areas, because I like how I feel right now and I can't stand to lose that momentum. We all know what happens when I fall off the wagon...lazy ass couch potato extraordinaire. And I damn sure don't want that to happen again. I'm finally starting to feel hopeful about fitting back into my xx-small t-shirts in another few months.

Week in Review

Thursday wasn't nearly as tiring as the previous class but it was very informative. I did a warm-up roll with Archie, who I actually did pretty well against. I almost got his back and nearly subbed him a few times and, since he's also fairly new, it's the first time in a while that I didn't get completely dominated and was actually on the offensive for much of the time. Basically, it was a nice, even roll.

Then, Yanitza joined in for no-gi again and once class got started, I drilled various escapes from mount with her, which was great because that's how people are most often killing me. I know I won't be able to use the escapes on everyone, but at least I have some moves to think about and attempt now instead of just giving up, lying there and waiting to be armbarred. I was actually feeling pretty good by the end and would've joined the gi class but I hadn't washed mine yet. Instead, I spent half an hour in a one-on-one session with Isley, working on a bunch of different takedowns.

On Friday evening, I thought I'd see what was going on for open mat. I rolled with Christian to start, which turned into a very useful lesson on passing guard. Then I rolled with Curly for a while, who helped me to further practice guard passes and armbars, and reminded me that smaller people (like me) need to have awesome technique when rolling with bigger partners (almost everyone else) because I can't hurt them or power through moves the way they can do to me. Basically, I need to stop flailing and trying to sort of do everything all at once, instead focusing on what I want to do in any given moment, then doing it step by step, with increasing speed and skill as I go. He helped me to practice a bit more, subbed me a few times and then we took a break.

There was another surprise promotion today and, since I didn't have my gi with me, I got to whip the guy with his own white belt, which was fun. Then I spent the rest of the time alternating between training with different people and practicing my muay thai kicks. Rolling with LJack was an absolute bitch; he's just impossible, although I did manage to do some decent mount escapes, putting into practice what I'd learned the night before. I really need to learn some of his little people tricks down the line because he makes it look so easy dominating larger opponents. He destroyed the two new blue belts just for funsies. Every time I looked over, he was pretty much sitting on their heads. Near the end, while I was doing another round of solo kickboxing against the wall, Krypton came over, picked up a kick shield and offered to drill with me, which ended up being so much more fun. I still need a lot of practice but by the end, I was really happy with how I was doing.

Of course, today I feel like I've been beaten up by a yeti. Three days of 2-3 hours of gym in a row is a bit much for someone still trying to get in shape. I was already feeling pained going into this afternoon's class and after an hour of drilling takedowns with Isley and Curly, the state of my knees and arms wasn't getting any better. Curly's another one of those great training partners because in addition to squishing me like a bug, he stops to help me out along the way. Rather than running through the same takedowns over and over, he had me take it a step further and actually pull him over to go for the submission, giving me tips on how to take the back and how to get the most effective RNC by punching my arm through so that it's super tight against the throat. It was really helpful stuff to work on so hopefully I can put it to use next class.

After that, I stayed for another hour to train with Dom, first on kickboxing drills and then on armbars to triangles, doing it over and over (and over) until I had zero energy left. I was ready to collapse and he just kept saying "switch feet and kick, again!" or, with the submissions,"okay, just five more times, go!" My body is a total wreck now but at least I'm feeling much more comfortable with the muay thai stuff plus the two submissions, and I may even be able to use one of them against a fellow beginner next time. We'll see how that goes on Tuesday.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I plan to do little more than take a long, hot bath for my sore muscles, ice my many bruises and watch my Blue Planet DVDs.

Lazy Saturdays

I love Saturday classes because they're so laid back and relaxed. Tuesdays and Thursdays are more intense; very enjoyable and very productive but you basically get the hour to drill hard, learn the moves and then pack it up when the gi class begins (or join the gi class if you so desire). On Saturdays, things have a very different feel because there's not much else going on and it's directly followed by an afternoon of open mat, which is a definite plus.

Dom taught today's class on flower sweeps to submissions, which I really enjoyed. I paired up with Thumper, who got it on the first try while I got all mixed up about what the fuck to do with my legs. By the third attempt, I had it down though. I wasn't confident that I'd be able to roll him over but with the right set up, it's not hard at all. From there, we drilled armbars and rear naked chokes, attempting (with moderate success) to not kick each other in the face and/or other sensitive parts along the way. When Dom had us put on the resistance towards the end, it took me a lot longer to sweep my partner. When I finally did, he would lock his arms in place, making it impossible for me to get the armbar, so I kept resorting to the choke.

After class, I rolled with Diesel, an advanced blue belt who went so easy on me that I had to tackle him and make like a wild child just to get him to start fighting back a bit. He started to get more serious after I nearly subbed him with a North South choke and then proceeded to return the favor a few times before I got tired and took a break. I rolled with Big Boy next, for a long while, and we had a blast. It was an exhausting but enjoyable round, basically just playing around and struggling to pass guard (I did unusually well with maintaining control from the bottom today and putting thought into techniques to apply from that position). I attempted armbars and triangles a few times but couldn't get them quite right, and my efforts at accomplishing a flower sweep didn't work at all. Anyway, BB and I went for one round after another until I completely wore myself down. He wanted to keep going so I felt bad but I just don't have the same level of endurance yet.

After a short break, I rolled with LJack for a bit (couldn't even get past his guard, we'll leave it at that), then Dom gave me a quick 101 on muay thai kicks, which I practiced for a while on my own. Curly, a more advanced white belt, noticed me kicking the wall like a crazy person and came over to assist before I broke a foot. Based on Dom's overview and with Curly's additional help, I finally started to get the hang of it. It seems I'm running out of excuses to avoid rejoining the standup classes now...kickboxing and painful conditioning work, here I come. Maybe.

Day One

Well, I went back for my first MMA classes today. Due to an injury, I haven't worked out properly in months, so an hour of kickboxing nearly killed me. I was ready to cry five minutes into the warmup. Seriously. But there's no denying that it was the single best workout I've ever had. A few more classes like that and I'll drop the 20 lbs in no time. It was extremely intense but damn effective. Yanitza, the one other girl in the kickboxing class, was kind enough to partner with me and patiently helped me through my flailing and hyperventilating, which was a great thing to have as a first-timer. Then, in spite of initial apprehension, I did an hour of BJJ. I'd never really gotten the hype but it looked fun tumbling around so I figured I'd give it a try. Wasn't expecting much.

Turns out, I love it. And I actually did much better at that than at kickboxing, which really surprised me. I'd assumed it would be the other way around considering I used to box in high school, but it was the exact opposite. I was lost with the standup work yet the instructors seemed to think I did decently with grappling. Being the only girl in the no-gi class, plus the only total newbie, my main fear was that I'd make an absolute idiot of myself but I picked up on it much faster than expected and had a total blast. It took a minute (or ten) to figure out what the hell they were telling me to do sometimes but once I got it, I really went for it.

Bottom line, kickboxing is a great workout but for sheer personal enjoyment, BJJ has definitely won me over. Apparently, rolling around in ridiculous positions with a bunch of big sweaty people is so much more fun than it looks (or sounds, for that matter). By the time the class was over, I was all like...MOAR!! I signed up right afterwards (my hand was shaking so much from the workout that I could barely sign the form...yeah, I'm that out of shape) and am going to start from next week with the fundamentals class for a month or so, 3 times a week. Once I've got more experience, I can come to the other classes as often as I want, both gi and no-gi. I'm thinking I'll try to do kickboxing once a week (build up to 2 times...maybe...it's a really brutal class, all these muscles I didn't even know existed are on fire) and try to do grappling 4-5 times a week.

Side note: Browsing the old interwebs, I'd seen so many discussions making a huge deal about guys and girls training together, and I don't get the drama. I had no problems with WTF is she doing here? looks or people acting like I was made of glass. The guy I was paired up with wasn't holding back on me the way I thought he might, or worrying about girl parts and cooties and whatnot. We were both there to learn and were focused on that. It was great. I think the moment I decided I was totally in was when the instructor working with me went off on a tangent to teach me a move that he seemed to think I was half-doing by accident. In truth, I was just bracing an arm against my partner's shoulder to lessen the weight on the neck. He's got a strong hold and while it wasn't tap-inducing, I did feel the need to try and lighten the pressure a bit at times.

Anyway, the instructor thought I was trying to do something far more thought out and decided to teach me the proper way to do it. I couldn't quite understand what he wanted me to do to finish the move, and then the other instructor came over to see what we were doing and was like "you wanna do this, and like this, YES! YES!! GOOD JOB!" and I just felt that enthusiasm and really got into it. Plus I don't know who I'll end up with next class (I'm sure most people don't want the newbie...I know I probably wouldn't as a fellow beginner) but the guy that got stuck with me was very cool about it. I thought he might find it frustrating or too easy getting partnered with someone smaller and totally lost, but he didn't act put out when I forgot to do something, just reminded me real quick and we kept going, and was very encouraging when I got stuff right, especially since he was learning too. So that sort of attitude from the boys (and girl) there definitely made a HUGE difference to me. Good experience. Good people. Next week can't come fast enough!