King of the Hill

After much consideration, I've decided that I'm most definitely not a fan of "King of the Hill," which we often close out the Wednesday night class with. Why? Well, because I seem to be the only white belt in that class right now, which means that I last about 5-10 seconds before some blue, purple or brown belt flips me onto my head and boots me to the back of the line. Again and again.

Aside from the normally pitiful finish to the night, Wednesdays are still among my favorites. Last week, I ended up doing a warmup roll with Spike which, considering he's the biggest guy at the gym, was not so much a "warmup" as a OMG, can't breathe, so tired...wait, we still have a whole class left?! kind of roll. Afterwards, Carlo brought everyone together to demonstrate the first technique, which involved this complicated flipping and rolling of your partner straight over your face. When we broke to practice the move, Spike came over all motivated and enthusiastic, saying "Okay, let's do it!" I gave him the look - you know, the bitch, u out ur damn mind?! look - and paired up with Liz instead. Spike looked all let down that his warmup buddy had abandoned him, but considering I had enough trouble pulling off the move on Liz, it was indisputably the best decision for us both.

Speaking of which, it's like...raining X chromosomes here at Ronin lately. Where the hell are all of these women suddenly coming from? Besides me and Liz, there is now badass Kung Fu Xena and two new girls who joined the Fundamentals class, and others have been dropping by for kickboxing and weekend sessions here and there. I mean, at this rate we're really taking over the gym. Xena has officially become my favorite partner for standup work and if she decided to grapple, I think she'd be a great person to train jiu jitsu with as well. She's not sure about the whole slip-n'-slide sweating rivers of nastiness all over each other thing though. I'm still trying to convince her.

BJJ champ Felipe Costa came in to teach jiu jitsu all last week and sadly, I missed the first two days because I had to get more of that disgusting allergy testing done. I made up for it by working extra hard and staying super late on Wednesday, although it was hard to find space since the mats were so packed. I worked with Liz for most of the class, during which Felipe taught us a few new tricks. We closed out the class by rolling, so I had a few intense rounds with The Kid and Birdie (I'm so used to working with more experienced grapplers that it's always slightly disconcerting when I remember I'm actually up against someone newer for a change and need to stop abusing them), and then a slower flow roll with Diesel, which was a welcome relief.

As we bowed out, Brickling got promoted to blue belt (yay) and then almost everyone stayed for open mat, going one lengthy round after another, nonstop, until I thought my lungs were going to explode from the strain of breathing so hard. I went another round with The Kid and then took on KGB, who managed to tap me out with an americana right at the end, but I played very well against him otherwise. I still can't get over how much of a change I feel rolling with him now as opposed to a few months ago. To finish, I finally got to go a round with Trek for the first time in ages. He's great about working hard on his technique instead of resorting to powering through moves like some other big guys do. I got to play offense for the most part and although he swept me a few times, it was a pretty even game and I actually surprised him with a successful kimura from half guard...thank you Liz for making me practice the move during warmups earlier that evening!

On Thursday, we had an in-house blue belt tournament with snacks, soda, pizza, alcohol and lots of good-natured competitive spirit. Everyone was betting on the same two people to win but I told them it would be Diesel and LJack who came out on top and guess what...I was right. Diesel came over afterwards and asked if he'd made me a rich lady. Don't I wish. Considering the odds, if I'd bet actual money, I would've cleaned house! Next time I'll know better.

Side note: I was rolling with Frodo the other day, flipped up and totally landed on his junk. Luckily, he was wearing a good cup so there wasn't too much screaming. Honestly, I can't believe there are so many guys who grapple without wearing titanium. It seems reckless when doing a sport that involves so much close contact in and around the groin area. Not that I go out of my way to kick between the legs or anything but clearly, accidents do happen...

I Can Haz Groove Back (again)?

Oh lawdy, I've been reborn! After nearly a month of spiraling into sin, I've had almost a month of good, hard training to balance it out and am once more feeling great and on the road to healthy lifestyle salvation.

I've also been doing a lot more conditioning work lately since, as much as I love grappling and as much as it makes me sweat, the standup stuff kicks your ass into shape like nothing else. Saturday morning kickboxing has become a routine for me now. It's a smaller, more informal class than the weekday sessions but just as intense. Once, when Dom was teaching, I partnered up with a tall, lanky youngster that I've decided to call Kicker. The reason for this is that he decided - I'm still not clear on why - that he did not care to wear shin pads like everyone else, and spent the whole class kicking the same spot on my thigh with his bony shins...quite hard. I didn't want to be one of those whiny partners that bitches and moans about being too rough, but after a while it really started to hurt and I started to get irritated. So I began kicking him extra hard in return. He's a nice kid and we get along just fine, but I have some anger management issues and very low patience levels so I'm guessing we both went home with giant black and blue patches covering our legs that day. In retrospect, I probably could've handled it better, but what's the point of doing MMA if you can't get a little violent sometimes?

Last week was one of those lazy mornings and only two other students came. Jazz, presumably not wanting to inflict my epic levels of incompetence on either Archie or Kicker, paired them up together and took on the task of working with me, which was almost as good as getting a private lesson. He pushed me like a boot camp sergeant to work extra hard, focusing purely on developing my technique, which is often nonexistent. After 45 minutes, my punches were getting more technical and less flaily, and felt a bit more solid. I was even starting to get that warm fuzzy feeling one experiences when it seems like you're finally doing something right. Then came a bit of live sparring and it all fell apart. Once he realized what a particular disaster I was, Jazz started from scratch to teach me some basic defense, which was a big help although I still left with my ears hurting from failing to block too many times. On the upside, Xena is coming in once or twice a week now, which is nice considering she's 1) a much more experienced kickboxer than me and 2) actually in my weight class, so I don't stumble halfway across the gym every time she throws a kick.

Jiu Jitsu is continuing to go well. I've developed more of an appreciation for gi training now. The grips still piss me off since I can't do half of them with my right hand, but I try to mix and match gi and no-gi approaches to certain moves, which helps. There are a ton - and I mean a freakin ton - of new people coming in lately. It's funny how quickly you get used to introducing yourself in the most ridiculous positions. Like oops, sorry, didn't mean to grab that! Let me just get my arm around here and through the legs and...hi! I'm Reese! What's your name? Been training long? But it's great to be training with so many hard-working and enthusiastic people of all different levels. See picture above: me in the middle, in the back, in blue, in mount, beating up on brand newbie for a change.

After Fundamentals this week, I was trying to leave but Liz convinced me to stay for the start of the late class and do a "light warmup roll" with her, "just until Carlo's ready." I should've known not to trust either of them. Liz took the opportunity to kick my ass up and down the mat, enjoying herself way too much as she threw on one ridiculous submission after another, with Carlo sitting a few feet away, enjoying the show as he slowly ate an energy bar. Every time Liz started cranking my arm in this or that direction, I would call out asking if he was ready to take over yet. He just smiled and shrugged, and kept fucking eating. I think he's still bitter that I never gave him a proper nickname.

Best night ever: Christian, after seeing a bunch of updates on Facebook about my love for Backstreet Boys and NKOTB, decided to loop the same three Backstreet songs for an entire class, much to the dismay of everyone else. While I was rocking out to "Larger Than Life" over and over...and over...the boys looked like they were ready to have some kind of group meltdown. I have to say, it just doesn't get better than watching a bunch of badass tough guys kickboxing to "I Want It That Way" and "The One." It really doesn't. Frodo was the only one who wasn't tearing his hair out and that's because he was too busy laughing. Doubled over, nearly in tears, he was so entertained by the fact that I like old school boybands so much that he's still joking with me about it a month later.

Six Months and Counting

Last Monday, class was running into open mat as usual. Christian had me jump in to drill escapes from mount with The Kid and even though I only caught the last 10 minutes, I was able to work up a sweat. When class ended, Brickling came over and seemed oddly determined to roll with me. I'm not sure why...maybe because I finally gave him a nickname here. At any rate, roll we did, for a damn long time. I'm not sure how much he gets out of it though, since he's insanely strong for such a short guy and has a wrestling background. He just kept tapping me out while I swore incessantly, but we had a good time.

On Wednesday, Liz warmed us up and it was brutal. I recommended that she stop torturing us and become a military drill sergeant instead. She seemed quite happy with the idea and promptly ordered what felt like a hundred more pushups. The class itself was a great lesson on armbars...from closed guard, then partner standing, then working flower sweeps if the armbar fails. I love Carlo's style of instruction and Wednesday night always has a particularly good crowd. I've felt a lot more competent with armbars since then; even if they don't always work, I think I'm executing them much better now. I also love working with Liz because one, she really knows her shit and two, we have similar sarcastic personalities. When you can make obnoxious, inappropriate jokes with your partner when something goes wrong...bonus. Stayed to roll for another hour when class was over, beginning with Scruffy who just kicked my ass up and down the mats without mercy. I did get an americana and an arm triangle choke on him at the end, but at least one of those was him feeling bad and giving me a win.

I wasn't going to stay for the late class on Thursday but Christian tricked me into it by telling me to "go defeat Diesel." I rolled lightly with Diesel for a while but it eventually turned into a warmup by stopping for short intervals of pushups, burpees, armbar swings, and before I knew it the class had started. So sneaky. I love working with Diesel though. He tends to roll slowly and precisely, favoring this calm, laid back flow style that allows you time to think about what you're doing and to consider the moves you might be able to try. Curly joined us once instruction began and the three of us worked together on rolling back attacks. I really enjoyed the first version from mount (let them catch your ankle, then swing a leg around and roll over your shoulder, taking them with you), but couldn't for my life get the other two variations right. Christian said that size and strength shouldn't matter,so I was clearly doing it wrong because both boys felt too damn heavy. I'll focus on the first version for now.

Wrapped up class by rolling with Shyguy, who I'd only drilled with twice before and had never actually sparred with (I used to think he was uncomfortable training with women but maybe that's because the first time we worked together was only my second time and now that he's seen me there for 6 months it's all good), then with Brickling and KGB. It occurred to me that night that I need to start practicing each technique for a while after class to burn it into my brain before I go. I sometimes rush to learn moves instead of internalizing the best form of execution before building up to speed.

Rolled with Dom for open mat over the weekend, then attempted to roll with Catman - I was so incompetent with him that it turned into more of a private lesson on standing guard passes - and ended the day by going up against Spike. I've noticed lately that by the time Saturday comes, I'm feeling extremely lazy and low energy, and don't end up being all that productive on the mats. I need to start motivating myself to put in a bit more effort on the weekends, like I did when I first began. Of course, at that time I was only going 3 days rather than 4-6 times a week.

Monday, however, was the best open mat I've had in a while, and the most productive. Admittedly, I often take lengthy breaks. I roll, I get tired, I chill for a long time like a beached whale, then I roll again, then chill again...and sometimes it makes me feel lazy. Not this week. I came, stretched out and rolled with one person after another for an hour and a half with very few breaks. It was goddamn refreshing. I warmed up with Krypton, who was not fucking around that night, and spent most of the time desperately trying to escape back control. With Curly next, who went harder on me than usual, which I expected after giving him such hell during our last roll. He tapped me out a bunch but I did get him in an arm triangle choke once and executed it quickly and efficiently. Went a few rounds with KGB next and it was the best I've done against him yet. He did submit me a few times but rather than spending the rest of the time just floundering on the bottom, I did much better at defense, got a successful hip bump, held mount really well for a while and almost got a keylock on him. It was a much more equal roll than usual and even if I still technically got my ass kicked...progress!

Spaceman finally returned to the mats and we got to roll for the first time in three months. It was awesome. I was expecting to do a bit better since I've had so much more time on the mats recently, but I made some dumbass mistakes and walked into a couple of chokes and an armbar, so he deserved the wins. That said, I did get an americana on him...had to work like hell for it too, no freebies there, so I really earned it. I rarely feel that way about my submissions.

Tonight we worked spider guard sweeps, which I'm not a real fan of due to trouble with the grips, but it was a fun class and a very intense workout. We started off with what was supposed to be a "light roll" and ended up being a lengthy and utterly exhausting few rounds instead. I paired up with blue belt Rex, who I'd seen around but never talked to before, and we quickly tired ourselves out. During open mat, I rolled with fellow white belt Tigger, who is new to Ronin but must've studied BJJ elsewhere. I've only started seeing him around recently but he certainly knows what he's doing and, although it was a fairly even back-and-forth match, he did manage to armbar me twice. Finished by facing off with Scruffy and gave him a run for his money this time, finally catching him in a fairly well executed armbar from guard, which he was actually fighting against, so I damn sure earned that one too.

On a side note, The Kid is currently pretending to not speak to me because I refused to roll with him since he jacked up my arm, and now he's a little offended. It seems that he went home the day it happened, immediately forgot all about it, and now can't understand why I feel the need to be careful. I'll see what I can do to make him feel less left out until my arm has fully recovered.

In Which I Become a Badass

Well...not really, but at least I'm moving in the right direction. In the grand scheme of things, I still know nothing. I'm a total newb. And I still spend half the time feeling like WTF am I doing? But the other half of the time, I'm slowly learning in a way that's becoming more noticeable to me on an individual level. I think I'm more aware of my own improvements now instead of only recognizing the flaws (and believe me, those are endless). People are also challenging me more now and adjusting their game, which I'm assuming is a good sign. At one point, I rolled with Isley after class and tapped him out in about 30 seconds by way of RNC. He got up, looked around, said "Jesus, I hope no one saw that" and then went extra hard on me afterwards. I was pretty thrilled.

Last week was the bi-monthly women's open mat at Clockwork. I was tired and almost skipped it, but I'm so glad I went. Although I got trounced by a couple of purple belts, the same whites and blues who had wiped the mat with me just two months before were really struggling this time. I spent most of the time on the offensive, got a few submissions and pulled off a number of what my partners referred to as "totally epic escapes." It's hard to gauge your own progress when you roll with the same people (particularly of the more experienced and/or larger variety), so I was excited to be in a different setting and to notice such a significant difference in my own game.

Back at Ronin, I've come to love Wednesday night gi class. Unfortunately, Carlo insists on people using their full weight to make the person on the bottom miserable. That was all fine and well when I was practicing on Rascal, but when it came time for his turn, the whole heavier person sitting on your ribs thing was not quite as thrilling. When he started, I asked him to please try not to break anything, which he found funny, laughed at and then proceeded to try to break everything. The class concluded with a round robin set of 6 minute rolls with no breaks, and I nearly fucking died. I went with Carlo first, which was utterly exhausting, then Lucky, who I did well against, and then Krypton, which pretty much did me in...and then I realized we were only halfway done. Rolled with Liz next, who used the time to practice a number of painful submissions, crushing every muscle in my body and tapping me out again and again at record speed. Damn little maniac. Thumper was next (our roll was somewhat half-assed because I could barely move at that point), and then closed it out with Rascal. After lying around like roadkill for a while, I joined Liz, Carlo and Krypton for their weekly conditioning work. I wasn't going to, but Krypton gleefully discovered that he could peer pressure me into it by insisting that if I didn't join them, he'd have to sit out too. So I gave in and suffered through a whole bunch of painful abs exercises. I was wrecked by the time I got home but it was a good night.

Last Monday, I stayed late and finished by rolling with Jazz. Jazz is kind of a giant, so it was a bit like David and Goliath but without the inspirational ending. At one point, he pulled off the most outrageous mount escape I've ever seen, doing some sort of yoga ninja move to flip over on top, essentially ending up sitting on my head. WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL. I missed Saturday's wrestling class but did make it in for open mat. Jen Flannery and Ryan Hall from 50/50 had stopped in for the afternoon, and holy shit, Jen is amazing. She's so tiny, weighs about as much as a feather and just devastates her partners. I was completely transfixed by her roll with Diesel...it looked like she was just floating on top of him and no matter what he did, she was always in control. It was pretty spectacular.

Later, I rolled with Wardog and did quite well in spite of his consistent use of raw strength. Isley got on his case for that and eventually banished him and took over to roll with me. Schizo offered to go a couple rounds with me afterwards, which was an epic workout. The main problem with him is that I take too long to figure out what I should be doing in any given position. By the time I make a decision, he's already got his full weight down and once that happens, it's over because the guy is a fucking tank. I have to work on getting into good defensive positions before it becomes impossible to move. I actually did much better when I rolled with him today. He subbed me once or twice with triangles but aside from that, I did well with maintaining defense, getting to half guard and even managing a couple of sweeps. Krypton was watching and came over at the end to remind me to get the underhook and to get deeper for the sweep, so I practiced that a few times with Schizo and found it so much easier to flip him over. I'll have to keep that in mind and try again next time.

Highlight of the week: I had an absolutely amazing 20 minute roll with Homeboy. It had to be the most exhausting match I've ever had. He's been out lately and I've been coming so often that we've very much evened out. Neither one of us was holding back, so it was a fantastic chance to test myself. I got 3 submissions (arm triangle choke, stepover armbar and RNC) and he got two or three as well. We rolled all over the mat...it was so fluid and so cool. I had a bit of an epiphany, like oh wow, THIS is what rolling should be like! Everything seemed to slow down and I was able to focus on one thing at a time. When we finished, my arms felt like lead and I basically passed out, chilling against the wall with Rits for half the night. By the time the gym was nearly empty, and I was ready to give up and head home, Christian demanded that either Isley or I roll with Buzz. Isley mumbled some sort of zoned out reply (he seemed even more wrecked than I was), so I took up the offer and I'm really glad that I did. It was good to get one more match in and I got a lot of practice with passing guard (got a tripod pass once, which elicited a pained grunt, followed by "good job").

Unfortunately, during this week's gi class, I did a light warmup roll with Lucky and somehow strained what I refer to as an ass muscle but what must be my right hamstring. Of course, the moment I referred to it as an ass muscle, it became an ongoing joke. Liz and Carlo couldn't stop spouting off pervy comments and snarky retorts. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to participate in the class, given the debilitating pain when twisting in certain directions, but luckily, we were doing an easygoing taking-the-back lesson so I worked with Liz, used minimal lower body movement and had fun learning my first collar choke.

Reese On a Roll

After four straight days of intensive training, my body desperately needed a break so I skipped Friday's open mat and went for an low key wrestling class on Saturday. Rolled with Dom afterwards and got it on camera, which I later watched a whole bunch of times to see where I'm going wrong. Looking at it, there are so many bad decisions going on and there are an equal number of things that I should be doing but am not thinking about in the moment. So it's good to reflect on my many incompetencies with a visual aid. Also, the 15 - 20 lbs I still need to lose? Yep, that really needs to go. Like, asap.

Monday was intense. Did a warmup roll with Thumper, who pulled some awesome sweeps on me, then paired up with him for takedowns. Later, we drilled by hand fighting round robin style. Went with Thumper first, then Curly, Lostboy and Schizo, who I didn't have much luck with but then again, he's been wrestling for a long time so it's understandable that he'd be good at, like...wrestling. Near the end of class, I switched to Lostboy for upside down D'arce chokes, which I did quite well with although he struggled a bit and did more neck cranking than anything else.

Class was followed by a great open mat. Rolled with Thumper for a few rounds and did better, then Lostboy and got a genuine submission - a rare occurrence for me - by way of stepover armbar, which is turning out to be one of my favorite moves, and then Jersey, which didn't go so well...darn blue belts. To wrap it up, I beat up The Kid a bit which in retrospect wasn't very nice. The poor guy spent 4 minutes stuck on the bottom and then bailed after I got an americana, even though we still had nearly 2 minutes left on the clock. Oops. Next time I'll try not to be such a dick.

Kickboxing was expectedly brutal...pure cardio work start to finish. KGB made it look annoyingly easy, of course. If the five billion and one pushups and situps fazed him, he damn sure didn't show it. I was right next to him, so it looked extra bad whenever I had to stop and recover. After class, I rolled with him for a while and although I basically spent 99.9% of the time trying to bridge and shrimp out of mount, side control and fuck knows what else (eventually got tapped out by RNC), the near-six-minute round was a marked improvement from the very first time we rolled two and a half months ago, where I got choked out in literally 10 seconds. Lasting for 6 minutes, even if most of it was spent flailing around on the bottom, means that I'm learning something (such as how to get to and hold half guard, even if I generally fail at doing anything else from there).

Phyiscal therapy ran over so I got to gi class half an hour late yesterday and tried to get my stretching done quickly while others paired up for warmups. I didn't get away with it for long though. Carlo finally noticed, asked what the fuck I was doing and said to find a friend and get to work. I partnered with Jacks, a blue belt who had also come late, to drill armbars from different positions (knee on belly, side control and from the back, all ending up in same place for the submission). It was fantastic stuff to learn, a great set of moves and I got them down pretty fast. Now, if only I could think clearly enough to use them in the moment instead of forgetting everything halfway through...

Rolled with Thumper for a long while after class. Trek watched us as he did his own exercises nearby, offering commentary here and there such as "Don't accept that, Reese! Take him out!" It was a really good round except for a brief moment where I ducked down at an awkward angle and got stabbed just between the eyelid and eyebrow with his toenail. I looked in the mirror later and realized how lucky I'd been. Another inch lower and I might've had a serious eye injury.

I attempted to take a break after that but Carlo called me over for the next round and damn, he's intense. I still remember being a wreck the first time I ever rolled with him, and now that I have a vague sense of what I'm doing, he pushes me even more. He was chuckling a lot this time, which is never a good sign. When Carlo does his maniacal chuckle, it means one of two things: either you're about to get royally fucked up or you're missing a great submission that's right in your face. He taught me the hitchhiker escape from armbar and had me practice it over and over from different sides. Really, there's no room to breathe with him; it's just one move after another and before you can even think about resetting, he throws out some other move and is like "What are you doing? LET'S GO!" I learn so much from him every time though; it's awesome.

Tried to take another break but Liz offered to teach me omoplatas, which was fun although good luck to me trying to remember all of those damn steps. Had a good round with C-Bear next and ended by going a few rounds with Trek. I'd drilled with him before but we'd never actually sparred, so I wasn't sure how I'd do. It ended up being a great round, though...one of those rare occasions where I actually felt like I knew what I was doing. A whole group was watching us and C-Bear and the others started cheering with shit like "Whoa, look at that!" and "Yeah, punish him, Reese!" Curly said afterwards that I was like a little wild animal all over him. Trek and I finished by going over kimuras and then I saw that Liz, Krypton and Carlo had some sort of boot camp in progress on the sidelines. I made the mistake of walking over and got peer pressured into joining them for a final set of painful abs work, although by the time Carlo demanded 100 pushups, I called it a night.

Kickboxing was mostly round robin sparring today. I'm still having trouble with blocking but am doing slightly better with punches and combos. Sadly, my momentum was interrupted at the start of gi class when I jacked up my upper arm/shoulder by falling on it hard during a sweep...twice in a row. The first time hurt but wasn't debilitating. The second time jarred the bone and sent lightning bolts of pain through my arm, leaving it tingling to the fingertips. I had already been putting a lot of strain on it between the kickboxing and pushups, so that was sort of the final straw and my body went into fuck you mode. Carlo came over to do his physical therapisty thing and determined that it was not, in fact, a life threatening injury. His advice was to just "ice the shit out of it for a week."

Since I didn't want to risk further strain, I sat out to ice the shoulder and tried to learn by observing the rest of the class. My arm eventually felt good enough to do some light stuff so I worked with Liz, who was also sitting out for the moment, wondering whether or not she'd just broken her thumb, and she helped me practice back escapes and then s-mount armbars, going at like .05 % so that neither of us fucked ourselves up further. Near the end of open mat, I was meandering around aimlessly when Krypton rolled over from a few feet away (literally just came tumbling head over heels) and went for inverted guard, so I ran with it. A little voice in back of head was saying Dont do it! Stay away from the big dudes or you'll mess up your shoulder even more! but I ignored the stupid little voice and am glad I did because it was a nice, fun roll and more importantly, I managed some really good stuff...like my first ever successful armbar from closed guard (as in, in the moment, not just drilling). I set up the armbar and in response, Krypton stood up to try to get out. Granted, he wasn't going too hard but still...I had to put in the effort to make it work, without time to think about it, and for once it actually did work. I also got my first ever sweep on him. Even in the past when he wasn't resisting at all, I was unable to sweep him because I didnt get the technique right. Tonight, something just clicked and I did. It was pretty damn thrilling.

I'm off to Charleston for the weekend, which means total inactivity for the next three days and that's probably a good thing. Even without the shoulder problems, I've been training extra hard lately and do need the rest. It'll be good to take a short break before starting again on Monday.

I Can Haz Groove Back?

I've been training nonstop lately and am feeling so good, physically and mentally. We spent Monday working on knee-on-belly transitions (having trouble with those...not quite acrobatic enough yet) and kneebars, which I enjoyed. The guy I paired up with was big, which doesn't usually bother me except that some of the moves required sitting on the other person's stomach or chest, full weight, and it really fucking hurt. So towards the end of class, we split up and he worked in with another pair of big dudes while I joined Frodo and Yanitza. I think it was far more beneficial to both of us that way. Stayed for open mat and rolled with everyone, including Ironman, who did the usual leaning back casually with his head in his hands and kicking me across the mat every time I tried to pass his guard. At one point, I did pass and even got to mount. Unfortunately, I was so proud of myself that I completely forgot what to do from there and he eventually just sat up and threw me off again. Dammit.

On a positive note, I haven't been completely sucking at kickboxing, which is a great change from the norm. I'm not doing well per se, but neither am I make a total moron of myself, so I consider it a win, even if the conditioning work still makes me want to cry. Went for my first Wednesday class yesterday, for Carlo's gi session. Jumped Curly from behind while he was in the middle of a tough love speech to a new kid and got a little warmup roll in. I hadn't worked with him recently and was very happy to hear him say with some level of surprise "oh, look at you getting all good and shit!" Paired up with Liz for class to do armbars from all kinds of places. I had no idea you could armbar the hell out of someone when they stood up in closed guard...must try that sometime.

Rolled with Spaceman for a few rounds during open mat, starting from standing and working our takedowns. I caught him in a guillotine the first time, held it for a bit but then lost my balance and he ended up on top, eventually passing and getting an arm triangle choke. Did fine with defense overall but didn't have much luck with offense or escapes tonight. His pressure was really on and I could barely move. C-Bear was sitting on the mat next to us and started up with his funny boxing commentator thing, but I ended up getting so confused and distracted that I flat out gave my partner the next submission and had to tell my enthusiastic "coach" to shut it.

Rolled with Krypton next and lasted 20 seconds longer than last time before he crushed me, which I feel is a great improvement. After some initial abuse, he did let me work my moves and although sweep efforts were futile, I got some great practice at holding half guard, trying to take the back and trying to pass. It took a very long time and every ounce of energy my arms had, but I finally got a successful choke. He also spent some time giving me pointers on improving my Shoulder of Justice and using it to escape half guard, which I felt really good about by the time we finished.

Wrapped up by rolling with Wardog. I was transitioning pretty fluidly and was able to make use of Krypton's earlier crossfacing tips, which got me out of half guard and into side control really fast a whole bunch of times. I was cursing myself at one point when he remembered the moves we'd learned on Monday (mount to gift wrap) and caught me in that annoying death hold. Fortunately, he blanked out on what to do next and I was able to escape and turn it back on him.

Tonight...wow. I didn't think I'd be able to do it but I managed to stay for all three classes...4.5 hours in all. Liz led gi class today and to "warm up," she ran us through a series of unusual exercises, including a few rounds of dodgeball during which I got repeatedly smashed in the face in spite of the "no head shots" rule. The first culprit was Trek, who beaned me at high velocity from across the room. Seeing as he's one of the biggest guys at the gym and throws like a speeding mack truck, he felt really bad and kept apologizing, even though I repeatedly said it was fine. Sure, it hurt like hell for 20 minutes and I was wondering how black my eye would eventually turn, but I grew up getting kicked in the face with soccer cleats as a star goalkeeper so really, life goes on. Unfortunately, rogue dodgeballs just started to find me after that. I got hit in the face multiple times, including once when I was hiding behind a pillar and the fucking ball bounced off the wall and smacked into my nose. LJack nearly fell over in a fit of laughter at that point and I have to admit, even though it was pretty damn painful the whole thing was so WTF that it was also pretty damn funny.

When class ended, a bunch of us hung around for another hour and a half. I took a break, did some cell phone photography (Liz kindly offered to take a few pictures of me getting choked out or armbarred) and then rolled with Spike. And when I say "rolled" I mean "attempted to do something, anything at all, and failed." Took another break to record Yanitza and Curly's weekly showdown, then trained with Krypton for a long while. Ended up having a really good round with him and was able to use the crossface-from-half-guard escape a few times too. Afterwards, he gave me some new tips on stepping in to get the pass and I have to say, so far the guy's advice has consistently ended up working really well for me against other people, so I take all the suggestions I can get.

Side note: I've finally encountered my first spazz. This kid is small but still gets crazy, trying to power out of everything. He flails around like a dying bug instead of making a conscious effort to learn the techniques. As a result, he tends to body slam people, which is not appreciated, and, instead of properly applying chokes, violently drives his forearm into people's throats. He seems to think he can step onto the mats and magically kick ass because he's seen some Youtube videos and taken 2-3 classes. Still, everyone's being very patient, telling him politely but firmly to chill out and take time to learn the techniques, so he's got plenty of support and will likely shape up soon.

Happy Holidays From the Mats

The holidays are upon us! And in the midst of shopping for gifts and spending time with family, I'm wondering how it all affects my gym schedule. Clearly, I've got a handle on my priorities...

More newbies showed up last Thursday and I ended up with one of them. The focus was wrestling, so we pummeled and yanked each other back and forth for a while. The poor guy and his friend seemed so amazingly lost, it's funny to think that I had that same OMG WTF? HELP! expression only 2.5 months ago, and now feel like I've been there forever. I think they were a little unsure of the whole grappling girl thing at first but I was in a helpful mood so I kept yanking their arms tighter and talking them through the moves until they figured out that I was not, in fact, going to sue them if they went for a harness grip.

I stayed for gi class afterwards and Yanitza had fun practicing all sorts of painful moves on me in preparation for her first competition. I eventually got tired and meandered around with my cell phone, taking pictures and getting some great shots of Yanitza and Curly after she challenged him with some freakin' funny smack talk. He very much enjoyed getting her back for that, and C-Bear multitasked as coach, referee and commentator, which made the whole thing even more hilarious. If I had it all on video, it would be a great example of why I love my gym so much.

Went in for open mat the next day and warmed up with Rascal. It's hard to roll with him because he keeps making snarky comments and doing ridiculous impressions that break my focus and make me laugh. It's not really fair. Rolled with Christian after that, which went very well. Aside from the unrelenting kneebars, I feel like I got into a good groove with him. Jazz, one of the old school crew who I'd never seen out of a business suit, randomly decided to join in and I worked with him for a while too. We talked a bit afterwards as he showed me some leg locks. He was interested to know why I chose Ronin and if it wasn't kind of offputting training with a bunch of guys. I assured him that it was not. It'd be another story if the gym was full of loud mouth steroid-abusing jocks, but that's obviously not the case. The guys there compete but aren't hypercompetitive. They're athletes but not meatheads. So far, I haven't met a single person who hasn't been totally friendly and laid back. It's a solid community where people come to learn and to have fun, and where everyone supports each other...just a good environment to be in.

Monday night was insanely busy, there were so many people. I paired up with Buster to drill armbars and sweeps from guard (rocked one variation, sucked at another). Spaceman came late and worked in with us. Because of my dysfunctional right hand, I was having trouble with the first part of the move, so the boys tried to think up alternate methods for me. Spaceman had a few ideas, which he and Buster demonstrated and together, they helped me to figure out what worked best. It was really sweet of them to have that sort of consideration without even being asked.

Class ran well into open mat again. Rolled with LJ and did okay. He's so light, it still kind of shocks me. With Spaceman next, who tapped me out once, then Schizo, who kicked my ass up and down the mat. I spent most of the time trying to escape mount and side control, although I did get a few good moves in. After that was LJack, who let me work on passes and escapes as he usually does. Then Spaceman again to close it out, who I actually got a frustrated swear word out of after escaping an armbar, swiveling to my knees and taking him down. I hate to be a dick but that was quite satisfying. After all, I'm usually the one swearing in dismay. By the time we finished, I was an ungodly mess...sweaty, hair in all directions, clothes half twisted off. Yep, so graceful.

I skipped kickboxing again today because my left knee has been hurting. Worked on taking the back with Homeboy tonight, then drilled with Rascal and KGB. Rascal has some sort of injury and at one point, I completely forgot about the ghetto bandages on his hand and yanked one of his fingers, resulting in some very unhappy noises. He's so adorable and reminds me so much of my kid brother that I felt extra bad about that. When he recovered and we continued, I was overly careful to avoid the hand. KGB, however, was a bitch to drill the moves with and I had to go extra hard with him. He's a lot stronger and bulkier, which made it difficult to pull him to one side and get the choke. I finally succeeded after resorting to Christian's "Oh, you don't wanna lift your head? Well then fuck you, how do you like this?" approach and basically yanked his head back by pushing on his nose with my forearm. It was kind of an obnoxious thing to do but it worked, which is good to know.

Gi class was great tonight too. I paired up with Carlo to learn flying sweeps to armbars and taking the back (FYI brown belt = totally ideal training partner for scary moves). I won't lie...I was panicking at the idea of jumping up and locking my legs around someone midair. I didn't think I'd be able to jump high enough and had trouble bringing myself to try. But Carlo doesn't fuck around and started yelling "GO! DO IT NOW! DO IT!" loud enough that other people started to stare (which I assume was the point as it's damn good motivation), and I managed to get the move down just fine. Later, I rolled with Yanitza for a while (got destroyed), then C-Bear (same) and Homeboy, who I did well against and actually managed to sweep a few times. Exhausting but awesome night.

No more class until Monday now. There may be an informal open mat tomorrow if Curly decides to open the gym, but I'm supposed to spend the day wandering around with my mother for our usual Christmas tradition of looking around 5th Avenue, Rockefeller Center and all that, so I may just take the next few days off and let my body rest. See you in the new year!

New People, New Places

After much badgering from Liz and Yanitza, I went to the NYC women's open mat at Clockwork BJJ on Sunday and, although I essentially got my ass handed to me by every female grappler in the Tri-State area, including a few very tiny girls who were probably half my weight, I also landed my first genuine, well executed submissions by way of stepover armbar and americana. So I came out of the whole thing feeling quite abused but equally satisfied. Rolling with total strangers at a different venue is a great way to gauge personal progress, and considering I was the least experienced person there by a few months, I'm pretty happy with how I did, even if it was essentially 2 hours of getting knocked around. What else is new? By the way, that's me in the picture...in the back, in blue...about to get swept...yep.

Monday's usual grappling class left me feeling pretty happy too. I did a warmup roll with Schizo and then we paired up to drill triangles and arm drags/taking the back from closed guard. I'd seen the guy around so many times but for one reason or another, I'd gotten it into my head that he was totally unapproachable and never talked to him. I don't even know why; it was nothing in particular. And when we finally ended up working together, he turned out to be really, really nice, so of course I felt like a horse's ass.

I did very well with the moves that day, although I struggled a bit once the resistance levels increased. Schizo is pretty jacked, so it was a bitch and a half trying to force his arm this way and that. He wasn't douchey about it though, and I was able to get the moves eventually; it just took some extra effort. Class ran over well into open mat, so we got a hell of a workout. I kept looking at the clock, thinking holy shit, I can't do any more, is class over yet? but Christian just kept going. I rolled with Thumper first, who did what he usually does and wiped the floor with me; then with Frodo, who kept getting into mount, which was amazingly irritating. I mainly used it as a chance to work on escapes and the bridge/sweep move I learned on Sunday from one of the girls. Rolled with Spaceman after that, which went very well. It was the first time he was ever unable to tap me out and we ended up in this back-and-forth stalemate for the round. Then back to Schizo again, who was looking like death at that point (as was I). With us both running out of steam, it was a much less aggressive round than our first few rolls, but we did what we could.

On Tuesday, I partnered with Archie for another intense kickboxing class. I'm trying to rotate who I work with day-to-day, so that I don't plague any one person with my total incompetence for too long. Things haven't changed much; I'm doing all right with the kicks but still feel like a real ditz when trying to box and am having trouble keeping up with the combinations. I apologized so many times throughout the class that Archie finally threatened to punch me in the face if I said I was sorry one more time. I don't think he was kidding.

Worked with Yanitza for Fundamentals to practice high percentage sweeps from half guard, which I actually picked up on quickly and did great with. Unfortunately, those same moves became five hundred thousand times harder when attempted on the big guys. For instance, when we switched partners and I drilled the same sweep with Trek, all of the smoothness and grace I'd felt at the beginning of class went right out the window. Honestly, I think I spent more time grabbing ass than anything else. It was hard as hell to reach down and get the foot, let alone hold it there long enough to roll him over. Long legs and short arms...what a fucking combination. Trek said it would've worked perfectly on someone smaller (yipee) but with someone his size, I'll have to do more rocking back and forth until I can catch him off balance. Worked with KGB after that and had an even tougher time...it was nearly impossible to accomplish anything while he was leaning down. Couldn't even get the first underhook without immense effort. Still, it's a huge motivator to continue focusing on and improving my technique.

Things got pretty nasty by the end with massive rivers of sweat on the mat, which had effectively turned into Christian's Wild Slip-'n-Slide about halfway through. At one point, I was shuffling on my knees towards KGB, slipped in the mess and nearly fell on my face. I can see why some people prefer to stick to gi training, although as gross as it is sometimes, I do enjoy no-gi more. That said, if having your head buried in someone else's sweaty crotch for two hours doesn't warrant one hell of a shower with fruity scented soap, I'm not entirely sure what does.

Week in Review

Thursday wasn't nearly as tiring as the previous class but it was very informative. I did a warm-up roll with Archie, who I actually did pretty well against. I almost got his back and nearly subbed him a few times and, since he's also fairly new, it's the first time in a while that I didn't get completely dominated and was actually on the offensive for much of the time. Basically, it was a nice, even roll.

Then, Yanitza joined in for no-gi again and once class got started, I drilled various escapes from mount with her, which was great because that's how people are most often killing me. I know I won't be able to use the escapes on everyone, but at least I have some moves to think about and attempt now instead of just giving up, lying there and waiting to be armbarred. I was actually feeling pretty good by the end and would've joined the gi class but I hadn't washed mine yet. Instead, I spent half an hour in a one-on-one session with Isley, working on a bunch of different takedowns.

On Friday evening, I thought I'd see what was going on for open mat. I rolled with Christian to start, which turned into a very useful lesson on passing guard. Then I rolled with Curly for a while, who helped me to further practice guard passes and armbars, and reminded me that smaller people (like me) need to have awesome technique when rolling with bigger partners (almost everyone else) because I can't hurt them or power through moves the way they can do to me. Basically, I need to stop flailing and trying to sort of do everything all at once, instead focusing on what I want to do in any given moment, then doing it step by step, with increasing speed and skill as I go. He helped me to practice a bit more, subbed me a few times and then we took a break.

There was another surprise promotion today and, since I didn't have my gi with me, I got to whip the guy with his own white belt, which was fun. Then I spent the rest of the time alternating between training with different people and practicing my muay thai kicks. Rolling with LJack was an absolute bitch; he's just impossible, although I did manage to do some decent mount escapes, putting into practice what I'd learned the night before. I really need to learn some of his little people tricks down the line because he makes it look so easy dominating larger opponents. He destroyed the two new blue belts just for funsies. Every time I looked over, he was pretty much sitting on their heads. Near the end, while I was doing another round of solo kickboxing against the wall, Krypton came over, picked up a kick shield and offered to drill with me, which ended up being so much more fun. I still need a lot of practice but by the end, I was really happy with how I was doing.

Of course, today I feel like I've been beaten up by a yeti. Three days of 2-3 hours of gym in a row is a bit much for someone still trying to get in shape. I was already feeling pained going into this afternoon's class and after an hour of drilling takedowns with Isley and Curly, the state of my knees and arms wasn't getting any better. Curly's another one of those great training partners because in addition to squishing me like a bug, he stops to help me out along the way. Rather than running through the same takedowns over and over, he had me take it a step further and actually pull him over to go for the submission, giving me tips on how to take the back and how to get the most effective RNC by punching my arm through so that it's super tight against the throat. It was really helpful stuff to work on so hopefully I can put it to use next class.

After that, I stayed for another hour to train with Dom, first on kickboxing drills and then on armbars to triangles, doing it over and over (and over) until I had zero energy left. I was ready to collapse and he just kept saying "switch feet and kick, again!" or, with the submissions,"okay, just five more times, go!" My body is a total wreck now but at least I'm feeling much more comfortable with the muay thai stuff plus the two submissions, and I may even be able to use one of them against a fellow beginner next time. We'll see how that goes on Tuesday.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I plan to do little more than take a long, hot bath for my sore muscles, ice my many bruises and watch my Blue Planet DVDs.

Ice Packs are a Girl's Best Friend

I got squashed last night. Like a bug. Annihilated by multiple people over the course of 3 hours. If this keeps up, my ass is going to be in shape much sooner than I thought. I keep trying to tussle with the bigger and/or stronger guys and they just trounce me without trying, every time. I must have a bit of a masochistic streak because I keep coming back for more abuse.

While the kickboxing class was wrapping up, I warmed up by rolling with KGB for 15 minutes. And when I say "warmed up," I mean that I nearly died from exhaustion while he barely worked up a sweat. When we began, he got me into a guillotine or triangle or something in the first 10 seconds. It happened so fast, I literally have no clue what kind of choke it was. All I know is that I attempted a takedown and was suddenly tapping for dear life. 10 seconds. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is. But we reset, kept going and I just kept on trying (and failing, but that's okay). It was an amazing workout but damn...guys like him, it's like grappling with a brick wall. I don't know enough techniques yet to be effective against someone that much stronger. I kept trying to do an armbar or, hell, anything at all and if you've ever been 147 lbs trying to pull someone's arm down when their arms are, like, 2-3 times the size of yours, and they're pulling in the opposite direction, you know what I'm talking about. I need a hell of a lot more practice to be able to counter the difference in strength even somewhat effectively.

Also, I can drill techniques over and over but when it comes to rolling, I get overwhelmed and forget everything. By the time I remember how to do a particular move, I'm already being subbed. Trek, Carlo and a bunch of other guys I couldn't see properly while upside down came over and stood around to watch and call out advice, but I still got my ass kicked over and over. The newbies in for their trial class were watching us with a measure of WTF? They seemed to be trying to understand if guys beating up girls was commonplace there. I think they eventually figured out that, awkward positions and pained expressions aside, I was having a lot of fun.

The no-gi class was really busy today. There were three or four people who came in for a trial plus more of the regulars than usual, and Christian worked us extra hard. Yanitza decided to once again brave the sweaty mosh pit that is no-gi training and join in, which was a good thing considering we were primarily working on side control escapes and butterfly sweeps and I had enough trouble pulling off the move even with her being smaller. I can just imagine how well it would've gone if I'd paired up with one of my usual partners.

Since I was running on a total of 7 hours of sleep for the previous 3 nights, the smart thing would've been to go home after Fundamentals. Unfortunately, I'd finally caved and bought a gi the day before, a nice looking dark blue Fuji with a crispy white belt, and I thought it would be a shame to not put it to use right away. So insanity set in and I stayed for the 2 hour sports BJJ class that followed. All things considered, the choice was probably a mistake. I went home feeling like a total wreck, not to mention somewhat ill, but I'm glad I did it anyway. I alternated between drilling with Liz and Yanitza, and then we spent what seemed like an eternity rolling. I don't know how long each set was, but Christian went into drill sergeant mode as we switched from one partner to another, and there were virtually no breaks. I did kind of sneak out for one round and collapsed with my water bottle for a bit. If that makes me a pansy, so be it. I was fucking tired.

After Yanitza, I rolled with Killer, who is another one of those brick-wall types. Big, really strong, crushed me into Reese's pieces...the usual. I think he actually enjoys trying to kill me...payback for all of those triangles I practiced on him a few weeks ago, no doubt. I almost had to tap a few times just because he's so heavy that I either couldn't breathe or was being squeezed so hard, I thought things might start going crunch. Seriously. But I do love the challenge of rolling with guys like him and KGB, even if it's basically just asking for pain.

When the class ended, there was a surprise promotion as Christian announced that Curly had been bumped up to blue belt and we all got to line up and whip the shit out of him as he walked and then crawled back and forth once across the mats...shirtless. It looked painful. I felt somewhat unqualified to join in considering I'd just bought my gi the night before, but I figured I'd honor tradition and gave him a good slap or two with my brand new white belt as he went by. Fun night. It's always nice to see people rewarded for their hard work.

I went home afterwards, took a long shower and then strapped 5 different cold packs to various parts of my arms and legs. I used to hate the feeling of icing bruises and joints but it's become an unavoidable part of my life. I've come to embrace it...it's the only way to ensure that I'm somewhat recovered enough to do the next class two days later.

Two Points For...

Training continues to be great. There was a sudden blizzard on Saturday so I wasn't sure if anyone would even be there and almost didn't go. I'm glad I did though, because I learned a lot of good things to do when trying to stave off attacks from open guard. I'm especially fond of the one where someone's trying to underhook you, you shrimp, kick the leg up, around and back in, and they have to start again. Later on, I kept doing that to Big Boy and Homeboy, and they were getting very frustrated. I've also finally gotten to the point where I'm passing guard more consistently and slightly less flaily-like, so Christian gave me props for that, which made me happy.

During open mat, I got a good ass whooping from Thumper, who I sorely underestimated because he's not as bulky as most of the other guys. But he kept getting side control and mount, and tapping me out time after time. I tried an armbar (hadn't officially learned it yet, was just imitating Youtube) and ended up getting the leg movements reversed. He used the opportunity to armbar me back, but gave me points for trying. I did manage to tap him once though, with a North South Choke, which was awesome. Dom was thrilled when I told him about that.

Tonight...well, I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Christian was off so Isley led a takedowns class and I paired up with Spaceman. I wasn't entirely successful with the rolling neck crank but we went slowly for safety reasons and I almost got it after hurting him once or twice (oops). Ironically, one thing I need to work on is not worrying about hurting people so much. I know it's kind of ridiculous that I'm the smaller person working with bigger guys and yet I catch myself thinking omg I don't want to break them!! especially since they spend most of their time crushing me. But I get concerned that I'll be too aggressive (at least when drilling, I don't care as much when I roll), do something wrong and hurt someone as a result of extreme incompetence. All I'm saying is, it's a damn good thing that everyone there seems to protect their junk with titanium cups...

With Christian out, the gi class turned into open mat and I rolled with Isley for a while. He took it easy and basically let me play, not trying too hard but enough to make it difficult for a newbie. He set me up a bunch of times to use the techniques we've been working on in the last few classes and I did some of them decently, although a few times I flat out gave him the submission. After that (I was already damn tired at this point), brown belt Carlo set a timer and told people to pair up for 30-minute rolls. I was like hah, glad I'm not in that class until he decided that gi or no gi, I was his first partner. Ah shit.

I was definitely on the verge of throwing up after that round. I've never been so tired, and he was barely even trying. It was essentially cat and mouse, and every time we finished, he'd swivel to his knees and say "again." I spent half the time feeling like a total spazz. I miserably failed my attempted americana but on the upside, I finally learned how to do a proper armbar from closed guard (he had me practice it a bunch of times from both sides and then set me up to try it while rolling) and made improvements to some other techniques, so it was worth the subsequent nausea.

When the timer went off, I collapsed into a chair and sat there pitifully with a 2-day-old water bottle pressed against my forehead like a cold compress. Liz started laughing at me because the damn bottle had been sitting in my bag at the gym for a while and was, at best, lukewarm. She pushed me to roll with her and Yanitza but I was ready to pass out and it took a long while of sitting around and talking with them and LJack before I felt somewhat recovered. Later, I did manage to roll with them briefly but being at the end of my tether, I couldn't put up half the fight I'd done earlier with other opponents, so around 10 pm I finally gave up and called it a night. And, in spite of the screaming muscles and brand new leopard-like bruise patterns, it was a great night.

A Real Rolling Experience

Today was the first time that I rolled. For real. As in, not just learning and practicing a few specific moves with basic resistance but rolling properly and actually going for the submission. Getting a few standalone moves down is, I've learned, completely different from trying to roll and apply them while you're being dominated every which way. I got a taste of that on Tuesday but wow, today I got completely whipped by three different people.

There were only six of us in the no-gi class today and I ended up with Spaceman again. Yanitza was sitting on the mat next to us and attempted to coach me from the sidelines, with my partner helping out as well. They both offered some great advice but I can't say that I was able to do much with it considering how fucking fast the guy moves and how little practice I've had with this sort of thing. I tried to give him enough resistance to be a good training partner but not knowing anything more than try to keep the knees up and get your legs around him I'm not sure I gave him much to work with.

Spaceman kicked my butt a few times before noticing that one of my big toes was blistered and bleeding, and we stopped so that I could tape it up. Before we could start again, Christian had him switch to work with one of the guys who had more experience and asked Yanitza to help me out. I felt bad because she'd just finished the kickboxing class and was going to do the gi class afterwards...the no-gi hour is usually her break in between the two so I had to figure she was completely exhausted. She was a really good sport though and worked with me for the rest of class, patiently showing me a few options for breaking out of closed guard (which I eventually managed at half-speed and with a bit of flailing) and rolled with me a bunch of times so that I could get a feel for it. I had a great time and learned a bunch of things to not do.

The hour went by fast. When it was over, Yanitza went to change into her gi and I sat down and talked with Liz a bit, who's now a purple belt and has won and/or done well in various competitions. She offered to roll with me before her class started, to give me some extra practice, and promptly destroyed me. I'm guessing she wasn't even trying, but that girl knows her shit and...well, I don't know shit, so it was great to work with her and to get that experience, even if it primarily involved a face full of sweaty mat.

When the gi class began, I thanked Liz and pounced on Isley, who worked with me for a while longer, which was really nice of him considering he was neither working nor taking a class at the time and was probably still recovering from his neck injury. He showed and practiced quite a few moves with me, including how to get a choke from behind and various defensive and offensive basics.

All in all, it was a really good evening. I was there for almost an hour longer than expected and even though I got killed, I feel like I learned a lot from it. Plus, it's good motivation to keep practicing!

Side note: unlike the other day, rolling with both Yanitza and Liz was great. I didn't feel awkward with them at all, so I'm thinking my discomfort over working with Britgirl was due more to her total lack of aggression than the fact that she was another female (as predicted, she never came back). I'm glad to have that sorted out because for a few days, I was feeling like a hypocritical douchebag.

Sweeps and Passes

Another great day. I've been arriving at the gym 15-20 minutes early so that I can watch the end of the kickboxing and take my time settling in. It's also nice to catch others and talk a bit before class starts. I figure the more people I get to know, the less I'll feel like the new kid.

There was actually another girl there today, a young English woman around my age. I made an effort to introduce myself and told her how much I liked the place so far. When kickboxing ended, I got to stretching and Britgirl followed me, which I didn't mind. But after a few minutes, I moved to the far end of the room and only later realized that she may have taken it the wrong way. I prefer being near the wall when I do a stretch that involves the butt being up in the air, so that I don't feel like I'm shoving my ass into everyone's face, but she seemed a bit put off that I'd suddenly switched locations. Oops.

Class started shortly after that. To be totally honest, I was glad when Britgirl ended up paired with Isley, one of the part-time wrestling instructors. Since I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, I really didn't want to be put with someone who knew even less. Of course, I've still been too shy to stalk my own training partners without an invitation or instructor intervention so I was left the odd girl out. Christian asked one of the blue belts to train with me instead, which turned out to be great. Blue was looking a little panicked when he realized that the first warmup we were doing involved lying on your back, placing your feet onto the other person's hips and kicking them up into the air like a spastic leg press. He seemed to be searching the room for someone my own size and I don't blame him. I wasn't entirely confident that I wouldn't send him crashing down into the wall or hell, right on top of me. To make matters worse, I have a birth defect and my right thumb is half the size it should be and doesn't bend. As a result, my right fist doesn't close properly. So not only was I a girl with much less weight to throw around, I was a lighter girl who could only hold on to one wrist.

Christian, however, is not interested in silly things like size difference or dysfunctional body parts. He swung by, asked WTF we were waiting for and told me that if Jean Jacques Machado could do it, I had no excuse. If that doesn't motivate you, I don't know what does. I yanked Blue up into the air and held him up successfully for about ten seconds. It's really amazing what you can do with a couple of well-placed feet on the hips.

After that, we practiced tripod sweeps and passes. The sweeps I did fine on. The first part of the pass I did fine on. But when it came time for the tripod pass, I really struggled at first. I mean, it's like doing a fucking pushup with your head. Have you ever done a pushup with your head? It's not easy and it took me a long while to get right, although I finally managed a half-assed semi-successful attempt by the end of class. Did I mention this shit is really exhausting? At one point, I asked Blue to demonstrate the move on me, just to see how he did it. MISTAKE. This guy isn't one of the biggest in class but he is pretty buff. He did the pass once and I was thinking holy shit, did my spleen and kidneys just rupture? If someone puts that kind of pressure on me on the regular, I'll probably be tapping out before they even finish the pass. Sad...

To wrap up the class, each pair joined up with another pair - for us it was Isley and Britgirl - and did a sort of round robin where all four of us practiced the moves on the other three and then swapped. I'd generally figured out what I was doing at that point and didn't embarrass myself too much. Britgirl, however, seemed uncomfortable and kind of giggly. Trying the move on her also felt really awkward when my turn came. Apparently, I don't mind rock-hard pecs smashing my chest but with two sets of boobs, I literally had no idea what to do with the damn things. I don't care about the close contact but from a purely physical standpoint, I found it really uncomfortable. Maybe it's different in a gi and maybe it just depends on the size of the girl's "girls" but for whatever reason, that was my least favorite round. I found working with the guys much easier.

When the hour was over, I talked with Spaceman and Yanitza for a while and a few other guys introduced themselves to me, which was nice. I'm slowly starting to feel less lost and out of place here. On my way out, I saw Britgirl talking to Christian but her overly polite look and excessive nodding, I have a feeling she won't be back. I'm not sure martial arts are turning out to be her thing...pilates seems more suitable for someone like her, but I guess we'll see next week. Isley convinced me to swing by for his Saturday takedowns class, so I'm looking forward to that.